IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that public transport should be free for everyone, while others believe passengers should pay for the service. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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has become a widely debated issue in modern society.
While
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that travelling free offers , others argue that [VIEW 2];
although
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 both perspectives have considerable merit, I believe that [YOUR OPINION] is the more beneficial approach because [REASON 1] and [REASON 2]. Body Paragraph 1 — First View On the one hand, there are several reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 support travelling
free
Change preposition
for free
show examples
 . One significant reason is that anybody can travel
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 those who cannot afford
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
travelling by means of government transport;
this
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 is particularly important because
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
is keep
Wrong verb form
keeps
show examples
 on increasing the fares and making it harder for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to afford the bus fares.
Furthermore
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,it will increase the number of
people
Use synonyms
 using buses and trains , which can lead to more creation of employmnet .
For example
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,
Government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 needs to start more and more buses
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will create
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jobs
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 more bus drivers ;
as a result
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, it will remove the problem of
unemploymnet
Correct your spelling
unemployment
.
Therefore
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, it is understandable why many
people
Use synonyms
 consider
this
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 approach beneficial. Body Paragraph 2 — Your View
On the other hand
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, I believe that [YOUR VIEW] offers greater long-term advantages. The primary reason is that [REASON 1]; not only does
this
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 [BENEFIT 1], but it
also
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 [BENEFIT 2].
In addition
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, [REASON 2], which
further
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 strengthens the argument in favour of
this
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 approach.
For instance
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, [EXAMPLE];
consequently
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, [POSITIVE RESULT]. For these reasons, I consider [YOUR VIEW] to be the more practical and effective option. Conclusion In conclusion, both perspectives offer certain advantages;
however
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, I firmly believe that paying for the
serviceis
Correct your spelling
service is
 preferable.
While
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 travelling for free may provide [BENEFIT], [YOUR VIEW] is more likely to [REASON 1], [REASON 2], and produce positive long-term outcomes.

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task response
Score: 4. The essay does not fully answer the task. Many parts still have notes like [VIEW 2], [YOUR OPINION], and [REASON 1]. Write full ideas in all of these places.
task response
Discuss both sides. Your first body part explains free public transport, but the second body part has no real ideas about why people should pay.
task response
Give your opinion clearly in the introduction and explain it with two full reasons. For example, passengers should pay because buses and trains need money for drivers, fuel, and repairs.
task response
Your job example is linked to free travel, but explain it more carefully. Free tickets may bring more users, but the government still needs money to run more buses.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 5. The main order is good, but the essay is not complete. Finish each paragraph with full sentences, not template words.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each body part. Body 1: reasons for free travel. Body 2: reasons passengers should pay, plus your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Make links between ideas clear. For example: “However, free travel would cost the government a great deal of money. Therefore, passengers should pay at least part of the cost.”
coherence and cohesion
Check small form errors that make reading less clear: “the government keeps increasing fares”, “employment”, “unemployment”, and “the service is preferable”.
task response
You give one clear idea for free travel: it can help people who do not have much money.
task response
You give an example about more bus drivers and more jobs.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear link words such as “On the one hand”, “Furthermore”, “For example”, and “In conclusion”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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