Unemployment remains the biggest challenge for school-leavers. To what extent do you agree? What other challenges do young people face today?”

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Some individuals believe that

unemployment

Use synonyms

is the biggest challenge for school-leavers when they enter

into

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apply

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the professional world. I partly agree with

this

Linking Words

view because family business and internships help

students

Use synonyms

to find a suitable job in the beginning. Apart from

unemployment

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, competition and language barriers are the other

challenges

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apply

show examples

which they face today. There are some

causes

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reasons

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why I believe that

the

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apply

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unemployment

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is not the major concern for young people. First of all, those courses which offer internships and vocational training to

students

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Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

are really beneficial for them to provide

the

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show examples

real work environment

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apply

show examples

and

hands-on-experience

Correct your spelling

hands-on experience

. Most companies

starts

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start

show examples

hiring directly from schools and universities. It can be a golden opportunity for

students

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to start their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

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at a young age.

Moreover

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, school-leavers can use their creativity and innovative ideas to make their family business more profitable.

For example

Linking Words

, posting traditional dishes on social media helps people to taste the authentic taste of the particular item. Young people

faces

Correct subject-verb agreement

face

show examples

another

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challenges

Fix the agreement mistake

challenge

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in today's competitive job market.

Firstly

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, the level of competition is increased significantly, and now companies

posses

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possess

higher skills

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apply

show examples

and higher qualifications.

For example

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, higher education

train

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trains

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students

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to handle real work

challenges

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Therefore

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, they are on the priority list of employers

than

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over

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those who often struggle to secure their position in the company.

Secondly

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, the proficiency in

english

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English

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is essential to deal with foreign investors, and to manage the internal documentation. Those individuals who

has a

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have

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limited knowledge about

this

Linking Words

language

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apply

show examples

limits

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limit

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their confidence and career growth in the future. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

unemployment

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affects school‑leavers, competition and language barriers create even bigger

challenges

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for them. Companies prefer skilled and qualified candidates, and limited English proficiency

further

Linking Words

reduces young people’s chances of career growth.

kaurjagdeep2097

Aug 12, 2026

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task response

Make your view more clear. You say you partly agree, but the first main part mainly explains why young people can find work. Say how far you agree and keep that same view through the essay.

task response

Explain why unemployment is still a big problem, even if internships and family work can help. For example, many young people may not have family work or a place on an internship.

task response

Give a more direct example for the family business point. The example about food on social media does not clearly show how school-leavers get a job.

task response

Develop the competition point with a real cause and result. For example, more people may apply for one job, so young people need more skills and work experience.

coherence and cohesion

Keep one main idea in each paragraph. The first body paragraph mixes internships, company hiring, and family work. Choose one or link them more clearly.

coherence and cohesion

Some links between ideas are not fully clear. For example, “Therefore” in the competition paragraph does not clearly show why one idea leads to the next.

coherence and cohesion

Use clear reference words carefully. In “Those individuals who has a limited knowledge about this language, limits their confidence”, it is not clear who does the action. Write: “Young people with limited English may have less confidence and fewer job chances.”

coherence and cohesion

Check sentence form so your ideas are easier to follow. For example, write “Young people face other challenges” and “Most companies start hiring”.

task response

You give a clear view at the start and answer both parts of the question. You also name other problems: competition and English.

task response

Your ending clearly brings your main ideas together.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear four-part shape: start, first main part, second main part, and ending.

coherence and cohesion

You use clear linking words such as “First of all”, “Moreover”, “For example”, and “Secondly”.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

school-leavers
entry-level jobs
work experience
practical skills
competitive job market
career prospects
job security
financial independence
vocational training
higher education fees
rising living costs
affordable housing
career guidance
work placement
mental health concerns
peer pressure
social media influence
unrealistic expectations
make informed career choices
transition into adulthood

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Unemployment remains the biggest challenge for school-leavers. To what extent do you agree? What other challenges do young people face today?”

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

Prison is the common way most countries try to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide the public a better education. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (OPINION ESSAY)

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.