Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam’. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

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Introduction
Over the past few decades, car ownership
rose
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has risen
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considerably,
that
Correct word choice
so that
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the majority of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cities
Use synonyms
in the world are called ‘one big
traffic
Use synonyms
jam’. From my point of view, the claim that
cities
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transformed
Verb problem
have transformed
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in
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into
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‘one big
traffic
Use synonyms
jam’ is accurate, and governments could take the right
measurements
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measures
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in order to convince people to stop using their cars.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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with, the fact that
cities
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are ‘one immense
traffic
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jam’ is highly accurate. Nowadays, every single citizen owns a car, and it is very tough to move through congested
traffic
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or streets.
Furthermore
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,
especially
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apply
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this
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situation is getting worse in small
cities
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.
For instance
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, in Chisinau, where I live, there
are
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is
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daily infernal
traffics
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traffic
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, and it is even harder for vehicles to navigate,
once
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since
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the city is small, and there are no convenient alternative roads.
Moreover
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,
this
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can happen usually in the peak times of the day, it can be whether in the morning when people go to work or in the evening when they arrive home. The drivers are stuck in heavy
traffics
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traffic
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jams for hours,
instead
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of reaching
to
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apply
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their destinations in 20-30 minutes.
Body paragraph 2
Nevertheless
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, the governments should have a range of
measurements
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measures
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to reduce car usage. They can encourage citizens to use public transport more or to ride a
bike
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.
However
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,
this
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can be done
,
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apply
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if the authorities will do the necessary implementations. To illustrate, the buses need to have facilities,
such
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as air conditioning, more seats and USB charging ports.
This
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will make the journey enjoyable
,
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apply
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and will be a perfect alternative
for
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to
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cars.
In addition
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, there must be
bike
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lanes. There are
cities
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where riding a
bike
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is not practical, so there are no
special
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specially
designed
bike
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lanes, but
this
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should be a must, including parking lots. In
this
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way, it will be another option for people to commute by
bike
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to avoid
traffics
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traffic
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, whenever they have to go to work, school, or
to
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apply
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run errands.
Conclusion
To conclude
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, the
cities
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called `one big
traffic
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jam’ become
crowder
Correct your spelling
crowded
and not manageable.
However
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,
this
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issue can be solved if the state
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
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the best actions.

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task response
Give a fuller answer to how true the statement is. Say if this is true in most cities, all cities, or only some cities, and explain why.
task response
Develop each government action more. For example, say that low bus fares, more bus routes, car-free areas, or fees for driving in busy parts of a city may make people leave their cars at home.
task response
Some ideas need more care. Better buses may help, but USB ports are not a main reason for people to stop using cars. Focus on speed, low cost, safety, and good routes.
task response
Use the Chisinau example with more detail. You could explain how long a trip takes by car and how a better bus or bike system could change this.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one clear main idea in each paragraph. In the first body part, explain the traffic problem. In the next part, explain each solution and its result.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid very long sentences joined by commas. For example, split “Moreover, this can happen...” into two short sentences so the meaning is clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more exactly. “Nevertheless” shows a strong contrast, but the move from the problem to solutions does not need contrast. Try “To deal with this problem” or “For this reason”.
coherence and cohesion
Make the ending restate your main view in clear words. Do not add new ideas there. Also, use clear forms such as “cities have become more crowded” and “the state takes the right action”.
task response
You answer both parts of the question. You clearly say that the problem is real, and you give ways for the state to cut car use.
task response
The example of Chisinau is clear and helps show how traffic can affect daily life.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. The order of ideas is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “To begin with”, “Furthermore”, “For instance”, and “To conclude” to guide the reader.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • car, cars, traffic, jam, road, city, city centre, travel, trip, journey
  • people, many, more, rise, grow
  • income, wealth, population
  • suburb, suburbs
  • plan, planning
  • public transport, bus, train
  • walking, walk, bike, cycle
  • bike lanes, cycle lanes
  • fees, price, cost, tax
  • parking, park, parking fee
  • toll, tolls
  • limit, restrict, ban
  • entry, zone, car-free zone
  • centre, center
  • fuel, fuel price, gas
  • pollution, air
  • health, safe
  • reliable, cheap, easy
  • telework, work from home, flexible hours
  • car sharing, ride sharing
  • pilot, pilot project
  • policy, policies
  • impact, effect
  • fair, fairness
  • balance
  • evidence, data
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