IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart shows the infromation relating to people within 15 minute drive service in a particular region in UK. It also compares the people living in urban areas and people living in rural areas. write a report for a university lecturer describing the information given below

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The bar chart shows the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of people in urban and rural
areas
Use synonyms
 who live within a 15-minute drive of four services in a region of the UK. The services are
doctor
Correct article usage
a doctor
show examples
,
Use synonyms
post
Correct article usage
a post
show examples
office
Use synonyms
,
primary
Correct article usage
a primary
show examples
 school and
secondary
Correct article usage
a secondary
show examples
 school.
Overall
Linking Words
, secondary
schools
Use synonyms
 had the same high
percentage
Use synonyms
 in both urban and rural
areas
Use synonyms
. Primary
schools
Use synonyms
 had the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 in urban
areas
Use synonyms
, but the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 in rural
areas
Use synonyms
. In urban
areas
Use synonyms
, both primary
schools
Use synonyms
 and secondary
schools
Use synonyms
 were accessible to almost 100% people,in rural
areas
Use synonyms
, secondary
schools
Use synonyms
 were
also
Linking Words
 around 100%, in rural
areas
Use synonyms
, primary
schools
Use synonyms
 were much lower at around 65%
in
Capitalize the word
In
show examples
 urban
areas
Use synonyms
,
doctor
Check wording
doctors
show examples
 and
post
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
office
Check wording
offices
show examples
 were almost the same
percentage
Use synonyms
 to about 100%.
in
Capitalize the word
In
show examples
 urban
areas
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
post
Correct article usage
the post
show examples
office
Use synonyms
 stood at approximately 95%,
while
Linking Words
 dector reached approximately 90%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in rural
areas
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
post
Correct article usage
the post
show examples
office
Use synonyms
 stood at nearly 90%,
while
Linking Words
urban
Change preposition
in urban
show examples
it
Check wording
areas it
show examples
 was around 100%

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, areas, post, office, schools with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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