IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Some
students
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 tend to learn about other subjects
in addition
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 to their major,
while
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 others claim that giving all their time and attention to studying for a qualification is essential.
This
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eaaay
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essay
 will
analyze
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analyse
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 the metrics and drawbacks of the
arguemuement
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argument
 and present my own perspective.
Body paragraph 1
In
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On
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 one hand, by learning about subjects other than their majors,
students
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 can develop their interest, which allows them to have more intention to study and tap into their knowledge methodically in different areas. Apart from that, in today's
rapid-evolving
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rapidly evolving
 world,
specializing
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specialising
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 in two or more different majors, combining the knowledge together and making
impact
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an impact
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 is a vital way to differentiate
from
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oneself from
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 other people.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, proponents of the second view argue that
students
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 should give time and attention to
study
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studying
 for a qualification. It can't be denied that having qualifiacation will bring plenty of benefits to
students
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' career life in the future.
However
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, if
students
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realize
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realise
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 that they aren't suitable for the area or AI have
chance
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a chance
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 to
subsitute
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substitute
 their jobs afterwards, they need to put much more
efforts
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effort
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 to be competitive.
Conclusion
To sum up
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,
although
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 both insights provide valuable insights, I am inclined to support the view that
students
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 have rights to follow their willingness, and to choose what they want to learn about.
Last
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 but not least, the trend of general education in universities
also
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support
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supports
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 the
arguement
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argument
. I firmly believe that
students
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 can only make the most by doing what they adore.

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task response
Discuss both views in more depth. Explain why some students want to study other subjects, and why others want to focus only on their main course.
task response
Make your own view clear from the start and keep it the same. You support choice, but explain why this is better than full focus on one qualification.
task response
Use clear, real examples. For example, a computer student may learn design to make better apps, while a medical student may need most of their time for hard tests.
task response
Some ideas are not fully clear. Explain how learning more subjects helps students in work, and how studying one subject deeply helps them get a job.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, first view, second view, and conclusion. This will make the essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Start the two main paragraphs with clear topic sentences. For example: “Studying other subjects can be useful for several reasons.” and “However, focusing on one main subject also has benefits.”
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly with words such as “For example”, “As a result”, “However”, and “In addition”. Do not use links that do not fit, such as “In one hand”; use “On the one hand” instead.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same words and ideas, such as “insights provide valuable insights”. Say the point once, then add an explanation or example.
coherence and cohesion
Make the final paragraph shorter and stronger. State your view, give one main reason, and end the essay. The point about general education needs more explanation or should be left out.
task response
You answer both parts of the question and give a clear personal view in the conclusion.
task response
You include useful ideas about interest, work, and the need to stand out from other people.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, two main body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use contrast words such as “On the other hand” and “However” to show different views.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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