IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You wish to apply for a new college course, but you are unsure about the details of cost, duration and subjects posted on the college website. Write an email to the relevant person in admissions at the college, ask him, 1. in which course you are intrested in. 2. Course cost, duration, and subjects. 3. Deadline of application.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Dear Sir or Madam,
Body paragraph 1
I am writing to enquire about the
course
Use synonyms
 which is available on the college website. I have gone through the details, but need some
clarifications
Check wording
clarification
show examples
 for the Software Automation
Course
Use synonyms
.
As the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 website has given a very small amount of information about it.
Body paragraph 2
Firstly
Linking Words
, I want to know the cost of the
course
Use synonyms
. It will be helpful if you provide all the estimations , including
course
Use synonyms
 charges and study materials.
Secondly
Linking Words
, as per the website, the duration of the
course
Use synonyms
 is 1 year, but I want to know how it will be segregated, in terms of semesters or a full-year
course
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Softeare Automation have different aspects including Data migration, tools, and structural test cases. It would be appreciated if you
provide
Verb problem
could provide
show examples
 me
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 list and detailed specifications of subjects that come under
this
Linking Words
course
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 3
In addition
Linking Words
, I want to know the deadline for submitting the application. It will be great if you provide me
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 complete brochure with the alumni experiences, it will enhance my interest
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I will plan
accordingly
Linking Words
.
Body paragraph 4
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to your favourable response.
Body paragraph 5
Your faithfully,
Conclusion
David Smith

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
State the course name in the first line more directly. Ask for the full cost, the course length and subjects, and the last day to apply in clear separate questions.
task response
The request for a brochure and past student views is useful, but it is not needed. Keep more focus on the main points in the task.
task response
Use more exact words. For example, ask whether the one-year course has terms or runs for the full year.
coherence and cohesion
Your email has a clear start, main part, and end. To make it easier to read, put each main request in its own short paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links such as “First”, “Also”, and “Finally”. This will make the order of your questions even clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Some lines are too long. Split them into shorter sentences so the reader can understand each request at once.
language accuracy
Check word forms and spelling: write “Software Automation has”, not “have”, and correct “Softeare”. Also remove extra spaces before commas and full stops.
task response
You clearly say that you are interested in the Software Automation Course and ask about cost, length, subjects, and the last day to apply.
coherence and cohesion
The email follows a clear order: reason for writing, questions about the course, question about the last date, and a polite ending.
tone
Your tone is polite and right for an email to a college. The opening and closing are suitable.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: