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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Introduction
It is an increasingly widespread phenomenon that
consumers
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 can go to a supermarket and buy
food
Use synonyms
 produced around the world in many
countries
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. I consider that
this
Linking Words
 is a positive
development
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 for not only individuals but
also
Linking Words
 society as a whole.
Body paragraph 1
In terms of the benefits, I firmly believe that the phenomenon offers some advantages. The primary reason is that the public
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 opportunities to try new plants and
food
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 in a very convenient way. To elaborate, the public can simply go to the supermarket in their neighbourhood and enjoy a
viariety
Correct your spelling
variety
 of
food
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 produced all over the world, including mushrooms, some special fruits, and beef, which may be very difficult to obtain in the past.
Body paragraph 2
Apart from that, given the convenience generated by the rapid
development
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 of transportation and frozen technology, we can enjoy a great deal of
food
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 like beef, pork, and vegetables at relatively lower
prices
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. The demand and supply of
food
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 become balanced, and the monopoly is alleviated.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
consumers
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 in some
countries
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 will no longer suffer from hunger and lack of natural resources thanks to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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evolving technology.
Body paragraph 3
It can't be denied that introducing new plants and
food
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 from other
countries
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 will pose a threat to local
farmers
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. Despite potential risks like dropping
prices
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, pests, and diseases, working with the governments to prevent diseases and pests, helping local
farmers
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 to convert into
impulsing
Use the right word
impelling
show examples
 agriculture, we can address the difficulties together.
For instance
Linking Words
, Taiwanese fruits, named "Mango", were sold to
countries
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 like France at relatively higher
prices
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, but
it
Fix the agreement mistake
they
show examples
 still
recieved
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received
 lots of compliments.
Consequently
Linking Words
, not only
people in other
Correct word order
are people in other countries
show examples
countries
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 are happy with the introduction of
food
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, but
also
Linking Words
 local
farmers
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 in Taiwan have better income.
Conclusion
To sum up
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, the evidence presented above suggests that it's a positive
development
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 for not only the
consumers
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 but
also
Linking Words
 the local
farmers
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.
Consumers
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 can enjoy lower
prices
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, convenience, and
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
show examples
 more choices when going to a supermarket,
while
Linking Words
 local
farmars
Correct your spelling
farmers
 can tap into their
specialties
Change the spelling
specialities
show examples
 and sell the plants and
food
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 to the whole world, which is a significantly large market.
As a result
Linking Words
, I believe that it's a positive
development
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 .

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task response
Your view is clear: you say this is a good change. Keep this view clear in every main part. You give good points about more food choice, lower cost, and help for farmers.
task response
Explain each main point more fully. For example, show more clearly how food from other places can lower cost, and why this can help people who do not have enough food.
task response
The Taiwan mango example is useful, but make it more exact. Say how selling mangoes to France helped local farm workers or farms. Also, check the fact and use “mangoes”, not “Mango”.
task response
The part about risks is a good idea, but the long sentence is hard to follow. State the risk first, then give one clear way to deal with it. For example: “Food from other countries may bring pests. The government can check food before it enters the country.”
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, main parts, and ending. The order is easy to see: good points, a possible bad point, then your final view.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each main part. For example: “First, food from all over the world gives people more choice.” This will help the reader know your main idea at once.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long and join many ideas. Break them into two or three short sentences. This will make your meaning clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. “Apart from that”, “Moreover”, and “Consequently” are useful, but make sure the next idea truly follows. Do not add too many links in one part.
task response
You answer the question directly and keep the same main view from the start to the end.
task response
You include both people who buy food and local farmers, so your answer looks at more than one side.
coherence and cohesion
Your opening and final paragraph clearly show your main view.
coherence and cohesion
The example about fruit from Taiwan helps make your point less general.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
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