IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The plans below show the site of a farm in 1950 and the same site today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Introduction
The given map illustrates the Beechwood
farm
Use synonyms
 site in 1950 and how it looks nowadays.
Body paragraph 1
Overall
Linking Words
, it is apparent that one of the significant changes is that the Sheep
area
Use synonyms
 was replaced into Camping field.
However
Linking Words
, the Soft fruits
area
Use synonyms
 and the Vegetables
area
Use synonyms
 did not change at all in the present
farm
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
Starting with Sheep place,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 it was replaced by Camping field, two Parking areas, and Solar panels
area
Use synonyms
 ,which is a huge change to today's Beechwood
Farm
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Barn was
also
Linking Words
 replaced with a holiday cottage
area
Use synonyms
, replacing the main Track to Road is
also
Linking Words
 accounted as one of the biggest changes in nowadays
farm
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
Moving to the other part of the
farm
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
Farm
Correct article usage
a farm
show examples
 shop is added to fruite trees
area
Use synonyms
,
as well as
Linking Words
 a Barn
that is
Linking Words
 located near the Road.
While
Linking Words
 the Soft fruit
area
Use synonyms
 , the Vegetables
area
Use synonyms
 , the big Farmhouse, and the Chickens field have not changed at all.

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task response
Give a more complete picture of the changes. Say clearly that the farm has become a place for visitors, with camping, parking, solar panels, a shop, and holiday homes.
task response
Check every change on the maps before writing. Explain where each new part is, for example, the new barn near the road and the shop in the fruit tree area.
task response
Avoid unclear or wrong change sentences. For example, say that the track was changed into a road, rather than saying it was replaced with a road.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer order. Start with an overview, then describe the left side of the farm, and then the right side. This will make the map easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words such as 'while', 'in addition', 'by contrast', and 'at the same time'. Do not put too many changes in one long sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Use the same names all the way through. For example, write 'sheep field', 'soft fruit area', and 'vegetable area' each time, so the reader does not get lost.
task response
You gave a clear overall point about the sheep field changing and about some areas staying the same.
task response
You included many key new parts, such as the camping field, parking areas, solar panels, farm shop, and holiday cottage area.
coherence and cohesion
Your answer has an introduction, an overview, and two main body parts.
coherence and cohesion
You used comparison words such as 'however', 'furthermore', and 'while' to show change and no change.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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