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Writing Samples
Band 5

The world of work is changing rapidly and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life. Discuss the possible causes for this rapid change, and suggest ways of preparing people for the world of work in the future.

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Introduction
In recent
years
Punctuation problem
years,
show examples
 the job market and working conditions have been changing continuously.
This
Linking Words
 could be caused by
such
Linking Words
 things as the development of artificial intelligence and overpopulation. In order to resolve these problems, it is important to learn how to use AI more efficiently and to study more job-related topics.
Body paragraph 1
The primary causes of the
work
Use synonyms
 world changing dynamically
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 that nowadays AI is ruling most of the processes in small and large companies.
For example
Linking Words
, over the
last
Linking Words
years
Correct determiner usage
few years
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, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 lost their jobs
due to
Linking Words
 being replaced
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 artificial intelligence. Another contributing factor is that our planet is overpopulated, which makes it challenging to find a good job.
Consequently
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 have to accept a harder or a lower-paid job since there is no other choice.
Body paragraph 2
One way to address these problems is
learning
Wrong verb form
to learn
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 how to
work
Use synonyms
together with
Linking Words
 AIs. By doing
this
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 not only will gain useful skills and experience, but
also
Linking Words
 will guarantee themselves more safety, since it is considered that the most valuable workers are ready to try new things
instead
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 of sticking to the same working format for life.
Moreover
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,
besides
Linking Words
 learning how to use AIs
properly
Punctuation problem
properly,
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 it is crucial to have not only general knowledge but
also
Linking Words
never
Verb problem
to never
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 stop developing and learning new things. Living in an overpopulated society is always difficult because everyone wants to have a better lifestyle and to be wealthier. In order to achieve that,
people
Use synonyms
 should ensure that they learn and practise more than their possible rivals, join internships and
work
Use synonyms
 in real companies to gain experience, even if it’s for free.
As a result
Linking Words
, their CV could become more attractive to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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employers.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the development of AI technology and overpopulation are the causes of
people
Use synonyms
 being uncertain
of
Change preposition
about
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 their career growth. To feel safer and more
relaxed
Punctuation problem
relaxed,
show examples
 they should try to
work
Use synonyms
 alongside artificial intelligence and to gain as much knowledge and experience as possible.

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task response
You answer both parts of the task: you give causes and ways to help people get ready. To improve, explain each cause in more detail. For example, show how AI can change both office work and factory work, not only take jobs.
task response
The point about too many people is clear, but it is very broad. Add a more real example, such as more people applying for the same job in a city. This will make your ideas stronger.
task response
Your main ways are useful: learn to use AI, keep learning, and get work experience. Add other ways that schools, companies, and the state can help, such as job training, short courses, and help for people who lose work.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: start, causes, ways to help, and end. Keep this strong plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Some long sentences have too many ideas. Split them into two or three short sentences so the meaning is easier to follow. For example, first say why workers need AI skills, then say how these skills can help them keep work.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links between ideas, such as "First", "Also", "Because of this", and "For example". This will make the move from AI to too many people, and from causes to answers, smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main paragraph focus on one clear idea. In the last main paragraph, the ideas about AI skills, learning, study, unpaid work, and CVs are all useful, but they need clearer groups.
task response
You stay on the topic and give direct answers about why work is changing and how people can prepare.
task response
The example of people losing jobs because of AI helps show the effect of new technology.
coherence and cohesion
The opening gives the main ideas, and the ending brings them back in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
Paragraphs are used well to separate the causes from the ways to prepare.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Artificial Intelligence (AI)
  • Robotics
  • Globalization
  • Outsourcing
  • Freelance work
  • Flexibility
  • Job Security
  • Education reform
  • Critical thinking
  • Adaptability
  • Continuous education
  • Retraining programs
  • Legislation
  • Corporate responsibility
  • Competitive edge
  • Work-life balance
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