IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People nowadays put more emphasis on social skills. Some people believe that social skills are more important in addition to good qualifications for job success. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
There is an ongoing debate regarding whether social
skills
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 are more important than good
qualifications
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 in
job
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 careers . A group of individuals believe that social
skills
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 play a pivotal role in achieving career
success
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.
However
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, others argue that good
qualifications
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 are key to
job
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success
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.
Therefore
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, ahead of my opinion, both views will be discussed
further
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.
Body paragraph 1
Examining the former opinion, the primary argument supporters put forward is that social
skills
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 play a significant role in personal life.
This
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 is because individuals who have good social abilities always
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 employees work well in teams and build professional relationships.
For instance
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, workers have a presentation about some products
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 struggle when employees with good communication
skills
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 can explain their ideas clearly and avoid misunderstandings with their colleagues.
However
Linking Words
, people are able to create career opportunities and solve conflicts in an easy way .
In addition
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, they believe that strong soft
skills
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 can contribute significantly to
job
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success
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 and enhance critical thinking function.
Body paragraph 2
On the contrary
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, those in favour of the latter opinion have their own arguments.
To begin
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 with, they claim that the value of good
qualifications
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 should not be underestimated. Having high
qualifications
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provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 specialised knowledge and technical
skills
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. In some professions,
such
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 as medicine, engineering and teaching, appropriate
qualifications
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 are essential because employees need specialised knowledge to perform their duties safely and effectively.
Furthermore
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, good
qualifications
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 help candidates stand out when applying for competitive positions.
Conclusion
To conclude
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, there are convincing arguments that both social
skills
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 and good
qualifications
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 play a crucial role in
job
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success
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.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that both are equally necessary for professional development in the workplace.

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task response
State your own view clearly in the first paragraph. The question asks how far you agree or disagree, so say that you believe both are equally important and explain this position from the start.
task response
Develop each main idea more fully. Explain why social skills help people get results at work, and why qualifications are needed in jobs such as medicine and engineering.
task response
Use a clear, real example. Your example about a product presentation is hard to follow. For example: a worker with good speaking skills can explain a new plan to the team and get their support.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, social skills, qualifications, conclusion. This will make your answer easier to read.
coherence and cohesion
Make the first sentence of each body paragraph show the main point. Then give a reason and an example. Keep every sentence linked to that main point.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid unclear links such as “However” when there is no opposite idea before it. In the first body paragraph, the sentence after the example does not connect well with the ideas around it.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence form and word use. For example, write “good social skills help employees work well in teams,” not “social abilities always helps employees.”
task response
You discuss both social skills and qualifications, and you give a clear final view that both are needed for work success.
task response
The examples of medicine, engineering, and teaching are useful because they show why formal study matters in some jobs.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two main body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful linking words, such as “For instance,” “On the contrary,” and “Furthermore.”
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