IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree ot disagree with this statement?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
In the upcoming era,
due to
Linking Words
 the advancement in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
Punctuation problem
technology,
show examples
 everything will be available online,
no
Correct word choice
and no
show examples
 one will buy printed newspapers or books. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion because everything will be accessible online easily and
no
Verb problem
there will be no
show examples
 harm
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the environment.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
Linking Words
 with, with the advancement of technology every information will be easily available. As every single news
or
Check wording
item or
show examples
information
Check wording
piece of information
show examples
 will be available online, people do not need to pay for hard copy newspapers. They can get all the information
while
Linking Words
 travelling or doing other tasks. It will
also
Linking Words
 save time for waiting paperboy.
For example
Linking Words
, during the time of
Correct article usage
the pandemic
show examples
pandemic
Punctuation problem
pandemic,
show examples
 social interaction was prohibited
every
Punctuation problem
; every
show examples
 news and study material people got
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
online.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
Linking Words
, less physical
efforts
Check wording
effort
show examples
 and more results. Everything will be digitally available, so the physical efforts will be eliminated and more results achieved. It
also
Linking Words
 helps in cost cutting of paper and delivery
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will ultimately
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 to saving
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 as no
paper
Punctuation problem
paper,
show examples
 no tree will be cut down.
Conclusion
In conclusion, after taking all the points
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 consideration,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion because it will
benefits
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
 the world in different ways
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as easy access
and
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 no effort
more
Punctuation problem
, more
show examples
 productivity and
environment
Replace the word
environmentally
 friendly.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Give a more exact answer to the key idea of the question: whether people will read online without paying. Your essay explains why online reading is easy, but it does not fully explain why all online news and books would be free. Add the point that many news sites and book services still ask people to pay.
task response
Develop each main idea more. For example, explain how reading on a phone helps people get news at any time, then show why this may make printed news less popular. Also explain that some people may still buy paper books because they like to hold them, keep them, or read without a screen.
task response
Use your example in a clearer way. The pandemic example shows that online news and study work can be useful when people stay at home. Say this directly, and link it back to your main view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear opening, two body parts, and an ending. Make the links between ideas clearer. Start body paragraphs with full topic sentences, such as: “One reason is that online news is quicker and easier to get.”
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each body paragraph. In the second body paragraph, physical effort, cost, paper, trees, and the environment are all put together very quickly. Explain them in a simple order: less paper is used, fewer trees are cut, and less delivery is needed.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. “Secondly, less physical efforts and more results” is not a full sentence and does not clearly show the point. Write a clear sentence before adding details. Also avoid repeating “everything” many times.
coherence and cohesion
Make the conclusion short and clear. Restate your view and the two main reasons, but do not add unclear phrases such as “no effort more productivity.”
task response
You give a clear view from the start and keep the same view in the ending.
task response
Your points about easy online access and less paper use are related to the question.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it has an introduction, two main body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful signposts, such as “To begin with”, “Secondly”, and “In conclusion”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: