IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that governments should spend more money on public transport, while others think that building more roads is the best way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Road
Use synonyms
congestion
Use synonyms
 has gradually become a serious concern in many cities.
While
Linking Words
 many believe that governments should invest their funds in public
transport
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, others advocate for
road
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 construction
for reducing
Wrong verb form
to reduce
show examples
 heavy
traffics
Check wording
traffic
show examples
. I am of the opinion that a balanced approach that
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
 both public transportation and building more
roads
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 may be more effective.
Body paragraph 1
One of the main
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 to decrease heavy
traffics
Check wording
traffic
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 in large cities can be public
transport
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. Governments
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
raising specified money for
transport
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 companies can help
to expanding
Wrong verb form
expand
show examples
 public
transport
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 access,
which
Correct word choice
so that
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people
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 can find
station
Correct article usage
a station
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in
Change preposition
at
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 any point
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the city.
Moreover
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, allocating funds to build new railways and establish more lines can help commuters o facilitate their pathway to different destinations, which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 using public
transport
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 more logical than their own car.
This
Linking Words
 strategy
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
show examples
people
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 to reduce their usage of private cars and may solve the problems of traffic
congestion
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 in the long run.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, one of the thought-provoking
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
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 of traffic jams is attempting to accommodate a great number of cars in
limited
Correct article usage
a limited
show examples
 number of narrow
roads
Use synonyms
. If
road
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 constructors can invest in expanding old highways and building new pathways, drivers have more option pathways to drive to their destinations.
Additionally
Linking Words
, with updating highroads
quality
Punctuation problem
quality,
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people
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 can drive easily and safely
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 can increase their speed, why
many
Correct determiner usage
much
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 of the
road
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congestion
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is happen
Wrong verb form
happens
show examples
due to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
road
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 deterioration and poorly maintained
roads
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. I believe that a balanced solution, which can be a mixture of government fund allocation for public
transport
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 and
road
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construction
Punctuation problem
construction,
show examples
 is more useful.
While
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cities
Check wording
cities'
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 accessibility to public
transport
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 can decrease private car usage, newer and higher quality
roads
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 can
also
Linking Words
 decrease drivers stuck in narrow and disoriented
roads
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.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
, balanced government investment not only in public
transport
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, but
also
Linking Words
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 building numerous
roads
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 can be effective.
While
Linking Words
 public
transport
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
people
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 to arrive at their destination faster and easier, more
roads
Use synonyms
 can divide cars
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 different pathways for more accessibility and less
congestion
Use synonyms
.

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task response
You discuss both views and give your own view. To make your answer stronger, explain more clearly why spending on both plans is better than choosing one plan.
task response
Use one clear example for each main idea. For example, a new train line can help people leave cars at home, while a wider road can help in an area with too few routes.
task response
Some ideas need more care. More roads may bring more cars in the long term, so explain when road work is useful, such as fixing unsafe roads or making new links in outer parts of a city.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: start, public transport, roads, and end. Keep this shape, but make the first line of each body part state one main point more directly.
coherence and cohesion
Link your ideas with simple, clear words such as 'For example', 'As a result', and 'However'. Some long sentences now join too many ideas and are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid saying the same point again in the last part of the roads paragraph. State your own view once, then give one short reason for each side.
coherence and cohesion
Check word forms and sentence links, as these can make the flow less clear. For example, write 'heavy traffic', 'more road options', and 'this strategy encourages people'.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: public transport, more roads, and your own view.
task response
Your main idea is clear: cities may need both better public transport and road work.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph stays mostly focused on one view.
coherence and cohesion
The ending brings the main ideas together and matches your view in the start.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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