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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that the government should provide free public libraries in every town, while others think that this is a waste of money because people can access to information on the Internet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Many
people
Use synonyms
 suggest that the government has to provide unpaid societal
libraries
Use synonyms
 in every city, meanwhile others believe that
this
Linking Words
 is an unnecessary expenditure of money because humans can get information from the internet. Personally, I consider the first option to be more efficient.
Body paragraph 1
To start with, free public
libraries
Use synonyms
 are essential for
people
Use synonyms
 from low-income families, especially for children, who can get information without using any type of gadget. To highlight, it is a normal trend in towns, where kids study for free in
libraries
Use synonyms
 with social workers, learning how to read, write and even communicate with others.
Thus
Linking Words
, these types of unpaid
organizations
Change the spelling
organisations
show examples
 provide an opportunity for economically disadvantaged families to educate their youngsters.
Due to
Linking Words
 that, the level of
non-educated
Correct article usage
the non-educated
show examples
 population is decreasing, which is a huge benefit for the state.
Body paragraph 2
Although
Linking Words
 accurate in part, those free institutions might
also
Linking Words
 bring economic expenses to the government.
For instance
Linking Words
,
libraries
Use synonyms
 require workers, establishment maintenance,
a
Correct word choice
and a
show examples
payment for utilities, which obviously takes money to maintain. In view of that, it is easier for the state to search for information
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the internet.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in our fast-paced world of technology, many
people
Use synonyms
 tend to use their gadgets to come up with several ideas, to do their homework, projects, and documents.
Due to
Linking Words
 that, a large part of the population might refuse to take a step back and move on to old methods of research and education.
Conclusion
To my mind,
libraries
Use synonyms
 are more beneficial for society, rather than for the government, as it ensures humans with all kinds of income a proper level of education.
Overall
Linking Words
, free public
institutes
Check wording
institutions
show examples
 are significant for increasing the level of literacy among all
people
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Discuss both sides more fully. Explain not only the cost of libraries, but also why online information may be useful, such as speed, ease, and access from home.
task response
Make your own view clear from the start and support it with one strong reason. For example, say that libraries are still needed because not all people have a good phone, computer, or internet at home.
task response
Use a more real and clear example. The idea about children studying with workers is helpful, but explain how this happens and why it helps poor families.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: one side, the other side, then your view. Keep this plan, but make the link between ideas smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Some link words do not fit well. Instead of “To highlight” and “Due to that”, use simple links such as “For example”, “As a result”, and “Therefore”.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main idea. In the online paragraph, first explain the cost issue, then explain why people use the internet, with a clear link between these points.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid unclear or unnatural word groups such as “unpaid societal libraries”, “unpaid organizations”, and “take a step back and move on to old methods”. Use “free public libraries”, “these libraries”, and “use traditional ways of study”.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you present both views and give a clear opinion in favor of free public libraries.
task response
Your main point about poor families and children is relevant and well chosen.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, two main body paragraphs, and a short ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphing well, and the reader can follow your main ideas easily.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public libraries
  • physical and digital resources
  • community hubs
  • educational and cultural activities
  • tailored information
  • literacy and lifelong learning
  • costly
  • urgent social needs
  • vast amounts of information
  • readily accessible
  • digitalization
  • under-utilized
  • inefficient use of public funds
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