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Band 5

Some people say material possessions are very useful in bringing us happiness, but others argue that they are useless in terms of providing happiness. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Introduction
Material
possessions
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 play a significant role in modern life, leading to an ongoing debate over whether tangible
goods
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 genuinely contribute to human
happiness
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.
While
Linking Words
 some individuals believe that material wealth cannot provide true
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
, I personally believe that physical
possessions
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 bring substantial comfort and joy to people's lives.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, many people find genuine
happiness
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 through material
goods
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 because these items improve their quality of life.
For instance
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, purchasing a personal vehicle provides convenience and comfort, allowing individuals to avoid the stress of public transportation.
Similarly
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, acquiring luxury items,
such
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 as designer clothing or fine
jewelry
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jewellery
show examples
, often boosts personal confidence and provides a sense of achievement. For many, these
possessions
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 are tangible rewards for their hard work, which naturally brings satisfaction.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, critics argue that material objects are useless in providing long-term
happiness
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. They believe that true joy stems from intangible values,
such
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 as strong family relationships, love, and peace of mind. From
this
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 perspective, focusing excessively on acquiring physical
goods
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 can lead to financial anxiety or temporary gratification rather than lasting emotional
fulfillment
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fulfilment
show examples
.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 emotional well-being and personal relationships are essential, I firmly believe that material
possessions
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 significantly contribute to
happiness
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. Having access to comfortable
goods
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 and personal luxuries enhances everyday life and brings genuine satisfaction.

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task response
You discuss both views and give a clear opinion. To make your view stronger, explain more fully why goods can give real happiness over time, not only short pleasure.
task response
Your examples are clear, but add one more real life example. For example, a safe home, a phone, or a car can help people save time, feel safe, and spend more time with family.
task response
Be careful with very strong words such as “useless” and “firmly believe”. You could say that goods help happiness when people use them in a wise way, but they cannot replace love or close family ties.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: opening, first view, second view, and ending. Keep this shape in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas in each paragraph stay on one main point. To make the link between the two views even smoother, use a short link such as “However, this kind of happiness may not last.”
coherence and cohesion
The last paragraph repeats your view clearly. It could be even better if it briefly joined both sides: goods make daily life easier, while close people give deeper happiness.
task response
You answer every part of the question: you explain both views and state your own view clearly.
task response
The car, clothes, and jewelry examples are linked well to comfort, confidence, and a sense of reward.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has a clear main idea, and the order of ideas is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your argument.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • material possessions
  • happiness
  • comfort
  • convenience
  • quality of life
  • self-esteem
  • social status
  • symbols of achievement
  • personal fulfillment
  • experiences
  • relationships
  • personal achievements
  • materialism
  • minimalism
  • cycle of wanting
  • long-lasting happiness
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