IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Write a letter to your manager requesting leave. In your letter explain the reason for the leave request provide the dates you will be absent offer to help with work arrangements during your absence

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Dear Mr David, I hope you are doing well. I am writing to formally request you to approve my
1 week
Correct your spelling
1-week
 casual leave. I need to attend one of the family functions in my hometown. Most of the ceremonies and rituals will be performed by me, as
being
Verb problem
apply
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an elder in the family, so I have to
present
Verb problem
be present
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 there personally. I will be on leave from 1st to 6th January, and will resume
the
Correct article usage
apply
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work
Use synonyms
 on 7th January. During
this
Linking Words
time
Punctuation problem
time,
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 I will not be able to do any official
work
Use synonyms
 activity
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 will be available on
phone
Correct article usage
the phone
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 and can guide my colleagues. I have already shared the to-do list of
work
Use synonyms
 with my teammates. During my absence, my team will follow the instructions and achieve all the targeted goals.
In addition
Linking Words
, I am taking leaves in the start of the year, when
client
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the client
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is
Verb problem
apply
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also
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 the freeze period,
due to
Linking Words
 the New Year holidays. So, we will not get any new requirements or deployments during the period. In case of
emergency
Correct article usage
an emergency
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, I will
work
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 remotely from my hometown. I hope you will approve my
leaves
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leave
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. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to your response. Your sincerely, Jonathan Smith

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task response
Give the reason in a more clear and short way. For example, say that you must lead the family event.
task response
State the leave dates clearly, including the year if needed. This will help avoid any doubt.
task response
Your work plan is helpful. You could also name one person who will take care of key work while you are away.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear start, middle, and end. Make the last work paragraph shorter, as it has many ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links between ideas. For example, use “Also” or “Because of this” instead of starting many long sentences with “In addition”.
coherence and cohesion
Use the correct closing: “Yours sincerely,” when you know the manager’s name.
task response
You explain why you need leave, give the dates, and offer help with work. All main parts are included.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are in a good order: request, reason, dates, work plan, and closing.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and polite closing fit a formal letter to a manager.
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