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Band 5

4The chart below shows figures for attendances at hospital emergency care departments in Northern Ireland by age group in December 2016 and 2017.

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4The chart below shows figures for attendances at hospital emergency care departments in Northern Ireland by age group in December 2016 and 2017.
The presented bar graph demonstrates the number of urgent
attendances
Use synonyms
 at medical centres in Northern Ireland by various age groups during
December
Use synonyms
 2016 and 2017. The units are measured in
visits
Use synonyms
 per 1000
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, individuals aged 75
years
Use synonyms
 and over had the highest rates of hospital appointments among all other categories.
Additionally
Linking Words
, children under the age of 5
also
Linking Words
 had
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
 number of
visits
Use synonyms
 per 1000 people statistically,
whereas
Linking Words
 residents aged between 5-15 had the least amount of medical
attendances
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the provided chart, monthly
attendances
Use synonyms
 by patients aged 75 and above were approximately 63
visits
Use synonyms
 throughout
December
Use synonyms
 2016, followed by a notable rise in rates, which reached around 68
attendances
Use synonyms
 in
December
Use synonyms
 2017.
Moreover
Linking Words
, children below 5
years
Use synonyms
 old were second in terms of medical
visiting
Replace the word
visits
, which was about 50
attendances
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of 2016,
then
Linking Words
 rose steadily to approximately 53 by
December
Use synonyms
 2017.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the three age groups of 16-44, 45-64, and 65-74
years
Use synonyms
 shared similar amounts, with negligible
difference
Check wording
differences
show examples
 between them.
However
Linking Words
, children between 5
-
Correct word choice
and
show examples
15
years
Use synonyms
 old had the least number of
visits
Use synonyms
 in both periods, which only increased from 21
visits
Use synonyms
 in
December
Use synonyms
 2-16, to around 22 in the following year.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words attendances, december, visits, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • chart analysis
  • attendances
  • emergency care departments
  • trend
  • age group
  • patient admissions
  • year-on-year comparison
  • statistical variation
  • healthcare system
  • data interpretation
  • percentage increase/decrease
  • demographics
  • healthcare planning
  • resource management
  • peak times
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