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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below gives information about household car ownership in Britain from 1990 - 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisions where relevant.

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The graph below gives information about household car ownership in Britain from 1990 - 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisions where relevant.
At first glance, it is apparent that between 1990
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2015, the percentage of
households
Use synonyms
 with no car has decreased
while
Linking Words
households
Use synonyms
 with either one or
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
two or more
cars
Use synonyms
 have increased. In 1990,
Use synonyms
famillies
Correct your spelling
families
 with no personal means of transportation
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 were the majority, with around 52-53%.
Ones that
Correct pronoun usage
Those who
show examples
 did have
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
took up approximately 37% of Britain, and owners of at least two or more automobiles took up
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the smallest percentage of the three at 12%, in present day, it still remains the lowest
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, it is predicted that
households
Use synonyms
 with
mutiple
Use the right word
multiple
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
 will surpass the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
ones
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 that don't in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
early 2020.
Use synonyms
Famillies
Correct your spelling
Families
 that owned at least
owned
Verb problem
apply
show examples
one car surpassed
ones
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 that didn't in the beginning of the 21st century, and still
remains
Correct subject-verb agreement
remain
show examples
 the majority as of 2015.
However
Linking Words
, it is predicted that
households
Use synonyms
 with either one or multiple
cars
Use synonyms
 will take up the same percentage in the late 2020s, with
households
Use synonyms
 that don't have any
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
significantly decreasing. The graph shows a trend of
Use synonyms
famillies
Correct your spelling
families
 moving away from public transport, and favouring
towards
Change preposition
apply
show examples
automobiles, and in a
decades
Check wording
decade's
show examples
 time,
Use synonyms
famillies
Correct your spelling
families
 with multiple
cars
Use synonyms
 might be the norm

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words households, cars, famillies with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
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