IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Nowadays many large international companies offer their staff the opportunity to spend a period of time living and working in another country. Why might this opportunity be good for employees? What advantages does this development have for companies?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
show examples
 many large international
companies
Use synonyms
 offer their
staff
Use synonyms
 the opportunity to spend a period of time living and working in another
country
Use synonyms
Body paragraph 1
In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 opinion to develop
companies
Use synonyms
 and make it grown up,
also
Linking Words
 it can
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
prove
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
staff
Use synonyms
 more skills and have more knowledge
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 way.
Body paragraph 2
Everyone
known
Wrong verb form
knows
show examples
 the world that we live in is a faster like the higher speeding weel, change every day. The
companies
Use synonyms
 need to move ahead
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
stateges
Correct your spelling
strategies
 need to shift. their leader, managers,
technologers
Correct your spelling
technologists
, and more
staff
Use synonyms
 need to study more. It will
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
have a high level after a period of time
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
. I think
more
Verb problem
there is more
show examples
 advantage for
companies
Use synonyms
 and for
staff
Use synonyms
spend
Correct pronoun usage
who spend
show examples
 a period of time living and working in another
country
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 3
There are
more
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
multiple couture in
another
Correct determiner usage
other
show examples
 countries. transport and
economice
Correct your spelling
economy
 bring us
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 way to
easy to
Verb problem
make
show examples
 living and working in another
country
Use synonyms
.
Correct word choice
easy.
show examples
Conclusion
Just keep going
progress
Punctuation problem
, progress
show examples
 with learning more from another
country
Use synonyms
, you can gain
richfull
Correct your spelling
rich
 knowledge and skills.
Eventually
Add a comma
Eventually,
show examples
 you can find the
would
Use the right word
world
show examples
 will
rewards
Wrong verb form
reward
show examples
 you
.
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 and the international
companies
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
you work
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 will be bigger and stronger!

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both parts in a clear way. Explain why staff may enjoy this chance, such as learning new work skills, seeing new ways of life, and feeling more sure of themselves. Then explain how the company can gain, such as better work with people in other lands and new ideas.
task response
Give each main idea a full reason and an example. For example, a worker in Japan may learn a faster way to make a product, then bring this idea back to the main office.
task response
Stay close to the question. Some lines talk about travel and money in a very wide way, but do not show clearly how they help staff or the company.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: start with your main view; write one part about staff; write one part about companies; then end with a short final view.
coherence and cohesion
Start each new part with a clear main sentence. Then add two or three sentences that explain it. This will make your writing easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a natural way, such as "First", "Also", "For example", "As a result", and "In the end". Make sure each sentence connects clearly to the one before it.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid very short or unclear lines, such as "Just keep going progress". Say exactly who does what and why.
task response
You give the main idea that working in another country can help staff learn more skills and knowledge.
task response
You also say that companies can grow and become stronger, which is a useful answer to the second part.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a start, body parts, and an ending idea.
coherence and cohesion
You try to connect ideas about change, learning, staff, and company growth.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: