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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The illustrations show how chocolate is produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. IELTS Process - Chocolate Production

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Introduction
The diagram illustrates the process of producing
chocolate
Use synonyms
 from
cocoa
Use synonyms
beans
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the production involves several stages, beginning with the harvesting of
cocoa
Use synonyms
 pods and ending with the production of
chocolate
Use synonyms
. The
beans
Use synonyms
 are gradually processed through fermentation, drying, roasting and grinding before being turned into
chocolate
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
First,
Linking Words
ripe
cocoa
Use synonyms
 pods are harvested from
cocoa
Use synonyms
 trees. The pods are
then
Linking Words
 opened
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
cocoa
Use synonyms
beans
Use synonyms
 are removed. After that, the
beans
Use synonyms
 are fermented for several days to develop their flavour. Once fermentation is complete, they are spread out and dried
under
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the sun.
Body paragraph 2
In the next stage, the dried
beans
Use synonyms
 are roasted at a high temperature. They are
subsequently
Linking Words
 crushed, which separates the
cocoa
Use synonyms
beans
Use synonyms
 from their outer shells. The remaining pieces are
then
Linking Words
 ground into a fine
cocoa
Use synonyms
 mixture.
This
Linking Words
 mixture can be processed
further
Linking Words
 by adding other ingredients, depending on the type of
chocolate
Use synonyms
 being produced.
Conclusion
Finally
Linking Words
, the
chocolate
Use synonyms
 mixture is heated and cooled carefully before it is prepared for consumption.
Thus
Linking Words
,
cocoa
Use synonyms
beans
Use synonyms
 undergo a series of mechanical and temperature-based processes to become the finished
chocolate
Use synonyms
 product.

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task response
You give a clear view of the full process, from picking the pods to the final chocolate. To make it more complete, check that every step in the diagram is named. If the diagram shows a set heat, time, or a machine, add it.
task response
Some parts are less clear than they could be. For example, say what the beans become after the shells are taken off, and make the last step match the diagram as closely as possible.
coherence and cohesion
Your order is very clear. You move from the first step to the last step in a natural way, with good time words such as “First”, “After that”, and “Finally”.
coherence and cohesion
The last line repeats the main idea from the start. You could use this space to add one more key detail from the last stage instead.
task response
The overview clearly states the start and end of the process and names the main middle steps.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has clear parts and each part deals with the next stage of the process.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words are used well and help the reader follow the process easily.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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