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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that governments should spend more money on public transport, while others think that building more roads is a better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
There is an ongoing debate over whether the government should invest in building more
roads
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 or allocate more funds to public
transport
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 to combat
traffic
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congestion
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.
While
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 expanding the road network has some benefits,
such
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 as reducing
traffic
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congestion
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, I believe that improving public
transport
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 is more effective because it can reduce
congestion
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 and allow
people
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 with financial difficulties to
travel
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 around the city at a lower cost.
Body paragraph 1
Some
people
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 say that the government should spend more money to build new
roads
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 , because it combats
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
congestion
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. In many countries, there are huge
traffic
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 jams, especially during the
rush-hours
Correct your spelling
rush hours
, because of small
roads
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 prticularly in the centre of the city.As populations grow, the number of vehicles in cities is likely to increase significantly, meaning that urban areas will require expanded road infrastructure.
For example
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, in my hometown, the rapid growth in car ownership has made many central streets overcrowded. Building new
roads
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 and parking zones could be a great solution for that since it increases the capacity of the city.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, some individuals believe that allocating more money to public
transport
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 is more productive, because it reduces the
traffic
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,
while
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 allowing for idividuals to
travel
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 more comfortably. More and more
people
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 are buying
cars
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 to
travel
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 to their work and study because of the low quality of the public
transport
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 system , and
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
 significantly increases
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
. Improving the quality of public
transport
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 by reducing waiting times, increasing comfort and providing dedicated bus lanes could encourage
people
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 to use public
transport
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 rather than purchase
cars
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, because it is more cost-effective than using private
cars
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. Take Japan as an example,which has invested a huge amount of money in its rail and bus networks and made public
transport
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 more accessible than
cars
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.
As a result
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,
people
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 began using public
transport
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 more frequently
instead
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 of travelling by private car, and it
leaded
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to deacrese in
traffic
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congestion
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
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 building new
roads
Use synonyms
 can have some advantages
such
Linking Words
 as decreasing the
traffic
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, I believe that investing in a public
transport
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 system is more productive,
sinceit
Correct your spelling
since it
 not only reduces
traffic
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congestion
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 but
also
Linking Words
 allows individuals to
travel
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 more comfortably and encourages
people
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 to use it more frequently.

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task response
You discuss both views and give a clear view. To make your own view stronger, explain more fully why better buses and trains can work for a long time, while more roads may soon fill with more cars.
task response
Your ideas are clear, but some points are repeated. Use one main reason for roads and two different reasons for public transport, such as lower cost and fewer cars on the road.
task response
Your examples fit the topic. The Japan example would be stronger with one clear fact or detail, such as fast trains, low ticket cost, or good links between buses and rail.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: introduction, roads, public transport, and conclusion. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body part with one clear main idea. Then give an explanation and an example. This will make the flow easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. You use 'because' many times. Try other simple links, such as 'as a result', 'for this reason', 'however', and 'in contrast'.
coherence and cohesion
Check spacing and full stops. For example, write 'congestion. While' and 'city. As'. Also check words such as 'particularly', 'individuals', 'decreased', and 'since it'.
task response
You answer every part of the question: you explain the road view, the public transport view, and your own opinion.
task response
Your opinion is clear from the introduction and stays the same in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The two body parts are easy to follow because each one focuses on one view.
coherence and cohesion
The examples from your hometown and Japan help connect your ideas to real life.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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