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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

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The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.
The given bar charts
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
 information about the number of gradaute and post
graduate
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 who were
no
Rephrase
not
show examples
 interested into full time
work
Use synonyms
 after college
Use synonyms
study
Check wording
studies
show examples
 in the
united kingdom
Capitalize the proper name
United Kingdom
show examples
 in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be
clealy
Correct your spelling
clearly
 seen that the
miximun
Correct your spelling
maximum number of
students
Use synonyms
 of
graduate
Use synonyms
 and
post
Check wording
post-graduate studies
show examples
graduate
Use synonyms
 went for
further
Linking Words
study
Use synonyms
 as compared to other categories. In the first paragraph, in 2008, the
maximun
Correct word order
maximum number of graduate students
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 of
graduate
Use synonyms
 were going for
further
Linking Words
study
Use synonyms
 with 29665,
while
Linking Words
 16235
students
Use synonyms
 were
unempolyment
Correct your spelling
unemployed
 in the same year.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the count of
graduate
Use synonyms
stuends
Correct your spelling
students
, who were interested in part-time
work
Use synonyms
 about 17735, followed by 3500
students
Use synonyms
 for voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
.
in
Capitalize the word
In
show examples
 the second paragraph, the difference of 1100
students
Use synonyms
in
Verb problem
is
show examples
 between for
further
Linking Words
Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 and
unemployed
Correct pronoun usage
those who are unemployed
show examples
, 2725
students
Use synonyms
of
Verb problem
are
show examples
further
Linking Words
study
Use synonyms
 and 1625
unemployed
Verb problem
are unemployed
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the figures of
graduate
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 in uk went 2535 and 345 for part-time
work
Use synonyms
 and voluntary
work
Use synonyms
resectively
Correct your spelling
respectively
 in 2008.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words graduate, students, work, study with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Graduate
  • Postgraduate
  • Full-time work
  • Further education
  • Part-time work
  • Unemployment
  • Volunteering
  • Traveling
  • Gap year
  • Career progression
  • Job market
  • Transition
  • Academic life
  • Professional sphere
  • Economic factors
  • Social factors
  • Financial crisis
  • Long-term impact
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