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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The map below shows the changes that have taken palce at the waterfront area of a town calles Darwin between 2009 and 2014.

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The map below shows the changes that have taken palce at the waterfront area of a town calles Darwin between 2009 and 2014.
The above shown map depicts the alterations that have been made at the waterfront
area
Use synonyms
 of a town named Darwin between 2009 and 2014. Earlier in 2009, the
area
Use synonyms
 was mostly industrial and not much space was left for vegetation and leisure. Even though there were two swimming pools lying on the coast, most of the territory was taken up by industrial facilities.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, other buildings can
me
Verb problem
be
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 mentioned, namely a school and a convention
center
Change the spelling
centre
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,
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 were both surrounding a circular
area
Use synonyms
 delimited by a footpath. Inside
this
Linking Words
area
Use synonyms
 could be found a lake, a couple of trees and again a few industrial
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
. Since
then
Linking Words
, the waterfront site has been subject to a few changes, more
specifically
Punctuation problem
specifically,
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 buildings and facilities have been destroyed and newly built. Some have stayed in place
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as the school, the convention
center
Punctuation problem
centre,
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 and the swimming
pool
Use synonyms
, but other constructions have emerged. In fact, in 2014, the residential
area
Use synonyms
has now been
Wrong verb form
was
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 extended
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 a smaller swimming
pool
Use synonyms
has been
Wrong verb form
was
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 added in the central
area
Use synonyms
 of the town.
In addition
Linking Words
 to these changes, a harbour has been built not far from the already existing fishing
area
Use synonyms
, allowing both floating platforms to be close to each other. In conclusion, Darwin has known many changes during
this
Linking Words
5 year
Correct your spelling
5-year
 gap
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the many constructions have allowed the city to be more resourceful thanks to a university
as well as
Linking Words
 a harbour. We can say that the town has known many alterations, giving it a new facade
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 people can now come to enjoy the various activities that
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are being offered. The additional swimming
pool
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 a new
locations
Fix the agreement mistake
location
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 that will allow more people to enjoy the freshness of a
pool
Use synonyms
 during the hot summers.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words area, pool with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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