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Band 7

The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph illustrates the main causes that push students of different
ages
Use synonyms
 to
study
Use synonyms
 and the amount of support they receive from employers.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, people under the
age
Use synonyms
 of 26 are the most
career focused
Correct your spelling
career-focused
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 that reason steadily declines throughout the
age
Use synonyms
 groups.
In contrast
Linking Words
, reasons to
study
Use synonyms
 for interest seem to be lowest at the 26 and under
age
Use synonyms
group
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, and increase throughout the
ages
Use synonyms
. Regarding employer help, their support is highest at the 26 and under category and decreases steadily, and
then
Linking Words
 rises
up
Rephrase
apply
show examples
again. We can see in the chart that reasons to
study
Use synonyms
 for a career are highest in the 26 and under
age
Use synonyms
group
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 at around 80 per
cent
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,
then
Linking Words
 drops gradually going through the middle
ages
Use synonyms
 at about 55 to 70 per
cent
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, before falling to roughly 18 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in the 49 and over
group
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, motivation to
study
Use synonyms
 for interest reasons rises from roughly 10 per
cent
Use synonyms
 to about 75 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in the oldest generation. The picture shows the percentage of employer support for each
age
Use synonyms
group
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, starting with people 26 and under at around 65 per
cent
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. The number
then
Linking Words
 declines as it reaches the middle
ages
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, around 35 per
cent
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, before rising again to around 45 per
cent
Use synonyms
 when reaching the
age
Use synonyms
 of 49 and over.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ages, study, age, group, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "declines" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rises" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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