IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Nowadays, more and more people engage in dangerous activities, such as sky diving and motorcycling. Are you in favor of them? Use examples to support your opinion.

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With the development of novel technology and
tendencies
Punctuation problem
tendencies,
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 modern
energitic
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energetic
 individuals tend to participate in
rigourous
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rigorous
 activities, and
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
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 are opportunities to engage in ample training facilities and leadership programmes. From my
perspective
Add a comma
perspective,
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 the trend is a positive development,
paves
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paving
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 the way for remarkable personal and economic growth.
To begin
Linking Words
,
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
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 aspect of the trend sheds light on its constructive nature. More
imporatnatly
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importantly
,
such
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 dedicated souls are required high end personal traits
such
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 as
,
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apply
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decision making
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decision-making
 skills, communication skills and cognitive abilities to
thrive
Verb problem
improve
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 their
performances
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performance
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.
As a result
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, they lead to combat their academic and career challenges
succesfully
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successfully
.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words

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task response
State your answer clearly in the first paragraph: say if you are in favour, against, or partly in favour of dangerous sports. Your first paragraph says the trend is positive, but it does not directly answer the question fully.
task response
Finish the essay with at least two full main ideas. Explain why sky diving and motorcycling can help people, but also talk about the risk of harm. Then say why the good points are stronger, or why the risks need rules.
task response
Use real and clear examples. The example begins with “For example, according to” but stops. Complete it with a source or a simple case, such as a trained sky diver who learns to stay calm and act fast.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear plan: introduction, one paragraph on good points, one paragraph on risks and safety, and a short ending. At present, the answer stops in the middle of an example and has no ending.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph focus on one main point. Some ideas about training, jobs, school, and personal skills are placed together without enough links. Explain each idea before moving to the next one.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words in a natural way: “First”, “Also”, “However”, “For example”, and “In the end”. Avoid long opening phrases that do not add a clear point.
coherence and cohesion
Write full, clear sentences. For example, change “such dedicated souls are required high end personal traits” to “People who take part in these sports need strong decision-making and communication skills.”
task response
You give a clear general view that these activities can have good effects on personal and economic growth.
task response
You choose useful points about decision-making, communication, and thinking skills. These points can support a positive answer if they are explained with clear examples.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction and starts a first body paragraph with a main idea, which is a good start for an organised answer.
coherence and cohesion
You try to use link phrases such as “To begin” and “As a result”, showing that you want to guide the reader through your ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Adrenaline rush
  • Thrill-seeker
  • Personal growth
  • Self-confidence
  • Social interaction
  • Like-minded individuals
  • Skill development
  • Concentration
  • Coordination
  • Discipline
  • Risk management
  • Safety awareness
  • Mental barriers
  • Challenge
  • Stress-relieving
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