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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below shows the percentage of the population by age groups in one town who rode bicycles in 2011

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The table below shows the percentage of the population by age groups in one town who rode bicycles in 2011
This
Linking Words
 chart provides a comparison of
people
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 different ages who rode bicycles in one town in 2012.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 women
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all ages ride bicycles more often than men in
this
Linking Words
 town, with over half of the children going out by
bikes
Check wording
bike
show examples
. Meanwhile, there is a dramatic drop in the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 between 20
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 39 years old,
only
Change preposition
with only
show examples
 a quarter of them riding bikes. Looking at the details, males in their forties and fifties
acounts
Correct your spelling
account
 for 9.3% of taking bikes as transportation, which was the least figure among all categories.
However
Linking Words
, it's
surprised
Replace the word
surprising
 to see that the percentage of bicycle-riding
people
Use synonyms
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
 a slow rise when they are over 60 years old. In summary, the table presents a detailed change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the use of bicycles in
this
Linking Words
 town, highlighting the age and gender distinctions among
people
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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