IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The plan below show a college cafe before it was redesign and how it looks now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

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Introduction
The given layouts allow us to see the changes in the Café before and after modification. It can be seen the slight adjustment inside the building and an additional outdoor
area
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
Before the redesign, the Café had only indoor areas and consisted of a kitchen, a serving space, two staff dining rooms, one small bin, toilets, a table and chairs
area
Use synonyms
 at the centre of the building. There was no outdoor
area
Use synonyms
 available.
Conclusion
The second map shows the current general arrangement of the Café. On the south side, the Café has been expanded with an outdoor
area
Use synonyms
 for barbecue and a seating zone, completed with two additional doors. Inside the building, the north
area
Use synonyms
 has been slightly changed. The serving
area
Use synonyms
 for all food and drink has been adjusted to hot meals only. A salad bar space has been added to the west side of the building. On the east side, the Bin was modified to a bigger Recycling Bin. The
last
Linking Words
 modification was two staff dining rooms, which were adjusted to take away food and a coffee bar. The kitchen, table and chair
area
Use synonyms
 still remains.

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task response
Give a clearer main view after the first sentence. Say that the main change was the new outdoor space, while most changes inside were small.
task response
Be more exact about all main changes. Make clear that the old staff dining rooms became the take-away area and coffee bar, and that the serving area now sells hot meals only.
task response
Use the map labels in a more natural way. For example, write “the bin was replaced by a larger recycling bin” rather than “the Bin was modified”.
coherence and cohesion
The order is clear: before, then now. Keep this plan, but group the new outdoor part together and the indoor changes together.
coherence and cohesion
Use more clear links between ideas, such as “In addition”, “Meanwhile”, and “By contrast”. This will help the reader follow the changes.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid very long lists in one sentence. Split them into shorter sentences so each area and change is easy to read.
coherence and cohesion
Use the same words for the two plans. For example, use “cafe” rather than changing between “Café” and “building”, unless you need to name the whole site.
task response
You describe the key new outdoor area, including the barbecue space, seating zone, and two new doors.
task response
You include several important indoor changes, such as the salad bar, recycling bin, take-away area, and coffee bar.
coherence and cohesion
Your answer has a clear before-and-after structure, which is a good way to describe two plans.
coherence and cohesion
You use place words such as “north”, “south”, “east”, and “west” to show where changes happened.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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