IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below shows the percentages of five kinds of magazines sold by a company in the UK between 2001 and 2009.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
The chart below shows the percentages of five kinds of magazines sold by a company in the UK between 2001 and 2009.
The bar chart demonstrated the selling
rate
Use synonyms
 of five types of
magazines
Use synonyms
 sold by a publishing
organization
Change the spelling
organisation
show examples
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
society
Check wording
apply
show examples
during 2001 and 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, the graph showed a
various collection
Check wording
variety
show examples
 of
magazines
Use synonyms
, which
are
Verb problem
include
show examples
 (
Sports
Use synonyms
, Food, Fashion,
Neighbor
Change the spelling
Neighbour
show examples
 Chocolate, and other kinds of
magazines
Use synonyms
). One noticeable thing is that
Sports
Use synonyms
 news achieved a high selling
rate
Use synonyms
 during all the periods,
whereas
Linking Words
 Food was not that popular compared to different types of
magazines
Use synonyms
. As evidenced by the chart,
Sports
Use synonyms
 scored around 32% of the total number of
magazines
Use synonyms
 sold during 1975.
However
Linking Words
, it demonstrated a gradual increase until it reached around 41%, and
this
Linking Words
 was the highest selling
rate
Use synonyms
 among the other types. Food magazine purchasing rates were not encouraging in 1975, as they were only around 6 per cent
in contrast
Linking Words
 to
Sports
Use synonyms
 during the same year.
However
Linking Words
, they surprisingly skyrocketed to 20% in the following 15 years, in 1995, and after that, in 2015, they decreased back to the same
rate
Use synonyms
 that was recorded in 1975.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words rate, magazines, sports with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: