IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Schools and workplaces should allow people to make mistakes without serious consequences because failure is an important part of learning. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Students
Use synonyms
 in
schools
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 in
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
 should
allow them
Wrong verb form
be allowed
show examples
 to make
mistakes
Use synonyms
 without any punishment. Because they need to learn from their
mistakes
Use synonyms
 ,
whereas
Linking Words
 failure is more essential to improve life. I agree with
this
Linking Words
viwe
Correct your spelling
view
 because I made many
mistakes
Use synonyms
 to improve myself . There are many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
schools
Use synonyms
 around the world
think
Correct pronoun usage
that think
show examples
 that
students
Use synonyms
 enhance their skills
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 when they
make some
Verb problem
do
show examples
 things wrong. These
schools
Use synonyms
 encourage
students
Use synonyms
 to learn from their
failure
Check wording
failures
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, these places follow many principles that focus on successful
students
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many
situations research
Check wording
studies
show examples
 have
studied about
Verb problem
researched
show examples
 the effect of learning
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
mistakes
Use synonyms
 to enhance the education process.
As a result
Linking Words
 , many
students
Use synonyms
 like studying in their
schools
Use synonyms
 because they are not scared
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 failure. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other words ,
this
Linking Words
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
strategy will increase their ability to
success
Replace the word
succeed
 in the future.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a lot of workplaces force their
employee
Use synonyms
 to
hold
Verb problem
cover up
show examples
 their
mistakes
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is
behaviour
Correct article usage
a behaviour
show examples
 make many of worker to relase that
wokeplace
Correct your spelling
workplace
.
However
Linking Words
, several
componies
Correct your spelling
companies
 support their
employee
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
when they make
mistakes
Use synonyms
 without serious consequences. These places look
forword
Correct your spelling
forward
 to growing more quickly, by for given their
employee
Use synonyms
. There are many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
managers in
schools
Use synonyms
 and workepalce try to understand the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
mistakes
Use synonyms
, because they want people to concentrate on their tasks. In conclusion, I agree to allow people to make
mistakes
Use synonyms
 without any punishment, because we are human , we need to fail to improve our skills and abilities . So
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, many situations should permit
to make some thing
Wrong verb form
making something
show examples
 wrong.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
State your view in one clear sentence in the first part. Keep this same view in all parts of the essay.
task response
Give two clear main ideas. For example, mistakes can help people learn, and fear of mistakes can stop people from trying new work.
task response
Explain each main idea with a real or clear example. Your own story about improving after mistakes could be made more clear and full.
task response
Do not say that all mistakes should have no result. Say that small mistakes should be used for learning, but serious mistakes may need action.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple plan: first part with your view, one part about schools, one part about work, then a short end.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body part with one main point. Then add an example and explain how it supports your view.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care: First, Also, For example, However, As a result, and In the end. Make sure each link shows the right idea.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the words are not in the right order. Write shorter sentences and check that each sentence has a clear subject and verb.
task response
You give a clear opinion that people should be able to learn from mistakes.
task response
You talk about both schools and workplaces, so you address the main parts of the question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a beginning, body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful linking words, such as “In addition”, “On the other hand”, and “In conclusion”.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: