IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Access to clean water is a basic human right.Therefore every home should have a water supply that is provided free of charge

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Introduction
The second human beings stepped on land, food,
water
Use synonyms
, and other necessary items were not magically served to them. They had to earn it, and in that case, they had to hunt, find rivers, and basically
work
Use synonyms
 for what they needed.
For whether
Correct word choice
Whether
show examples
 clean
water
Use synonyms
 should be accessible in all homes, it can be thought of
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 same way. Though it is a necessity
to
Change preposition
of
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 human life, nothing in life is free.
As a result
Linking Words
, I disagree with the statement.
Body paragraph 1
In
this
Linking Words
 short written passage, reasons and examples will be given to express my points of disagreement.
Body paragraph 2
Firstly
Linking Words
, if clean
water
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 is accessibly free in all houses,
then
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 we are literally contradicting the point of being part of a societal system.
Body paragraph 3
A society is where people get what they earn. If a woman gets paid sufficiently from
work
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, they may use the money for food, housing, and
simply
Rephrase
apply
show examples
anything they want. They worked for it, and now the reward is given.
In
Change preposition
On the
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 contrary, an unemployed person wouldn't have much money, and
therefore
Linking Words
 would not be able
afford
Verb problem
to afford
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much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
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 of their basic necessities. Now, if hypothetically both the unemployed and the woman were to both have access to free
water
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, wouldn't it be an unfair treatment for the woman, who has to
work
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 effortlessly, just to be treated almost identically to the person who does not have to
work
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?
Body paragraph 4
Secondly
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, though many may argue that
water
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 is still a basic human
right
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, and
therefore
Linking Words
 should be completely free, I see a fallacy in
this
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reason
Replace the word
reasoning
.
This
Linking Words
 is because for something to be a basic human
right
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 does not automatically mean it is free. It should be earned. To better understand
this
Linking Words
, compare
this
Linking Words
 with people being allowed to be free in most countries. But if someone were to commit a serious crime, their freedom is taken, and thereby their
right
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 is taken away from them until
it
Fix the agreement mistake
they
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 can be earned back again. Just like with
water
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, it is a
right
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, but can only be earned to have
this
Linking Words
right
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.
Conclusion
For these reasons, I strongly believe that
water
Use synonyms
 should not be freely accessible to all homes.

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task response
Your view is clear: you do not agree that all home water should be free. However, your main reason, that nothing in life is free, is too simple for this topic. Explain who would pay for pipes, water plants, and workers, and why a small cost may be fairer.
task response
Some ideas are not fully true or well linked to the question. For example, a person without work may still need water to live, so saying they should earn this right needs more care. Show that you understand both sides before you give your own view.
task response
Use real and clear examples. You could say that a basic amount of water may be free for every home, while extra water for long showers, pools, or gardens can cost money. This would make your answer more balanced and strong.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. But the second paragraph only says what the essay will do. Remove it and use the space to develop your first or second main point.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main paragraph follow one clear path: main idea, reason, example, and short link back to your view. In the first main part, the idea moves from work pay to people without work, but it does not clearly show why water should not be free.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. 'In contrary' should be 'On the contrary' or, better here, 'By contrast'. Also avoid very long questions. State your point directly instead of asking the reader to agree.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same key words. Use 'free water supply', 'basic water', and 'water bills' rather than changing between many forms. This will make the links between sentences easier to follow.
task response
You answer the question directly and keep the same view from the first paragraph to the end.
task response
You try to give two different reasons and use an example about freedom and crime to explain your point.
coherence and cohesion
The essay uses clear paragraph breaks and helpful signposts such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'For these reasons'.
coherence and cohesion
The ending clearly repeats your main view and gives the essay a proper close.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • basic
  • human
  • right
  • water
  • supply
  • provided
  • free
  • charge
  • agree
  • disagree
  • health
  • essential
  • sick
  • diseases
  • supports
  • education
  • children
  • focus
  • learning
  • searching
  • better
  • futures
  • reduce
  • poverty
  • families
  • save
  • money
  • spend
  • important
  • needs
  • promote
  • equality
  • chance
  • access
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