Many aspects of the way people dress today are influenced by global fashion trends. How has global fashion become such a strong influence on people’s lives? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Introduction
Modern
fashion
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has increasingly impacted
on
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apply
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people
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in today’s
globalized
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globalised
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world
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.There are several factors attributed to changing
fashion
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trends
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. I believe it is largely a negative development because it can pose a threat to both an individual country’s culture and the environment.
Body paragraph 1
Back in the time, purchasing clothing was not as easy as today
due to
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a lack of technology and a convenient transportation system.
However
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,
people
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nowadays can purchase things online with just one click, and those will be delivered to their home without having to travel to different parts of the globe.
Moreover
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, there have been a variety of choices, and these international
fashion
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trends
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are constantly exposed to
people
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in many different ways
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such
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, such
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as movies and social media platforms. It is difficult for them to resist the temptation
and
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, and
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it may lead to market demand.
As a result
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, there are massive productions of trendy clothing, which create fast
fashion
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trends
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around the
world
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.
Body paragraph 2
Constantly changing clothing designs can influence the way
people
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around the
world
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choose to wear.
For example
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, in Myanmar,
people
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rarely wear their traditional attire apart from special occasions
and
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, and
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fast
fashion
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from Korea, China and Thailand is extremely popular among young adults. As clothing is a part of a nation’s culture, it is important to pass it down from generation to generation so as not to lose a country’s identity.
In addition
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,
people
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wear those clothes only
for one
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once
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or two times
and
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, and
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they have a tendency to continue buying in order to keep up with global
trends
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.
This
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can negatively affect the environment not only because of
resource
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the resource
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consumption to make clothes
but
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, but
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also
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piles
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because of the piles
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of discarded clothes.
Conclusion
In conclusion, modern
fashion
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trends
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spread quickly around the
world
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through social networking sites and the internet. I regard its
overall
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impact as negative since it undermines the importance of cultural values and the ecosystem.

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task response
Answer both parts more directly in the first paragraph. Say clearly why world fashion is strong: online shops, social media, films, and low-cost clothes.
task response
Your negative view is clear. Make the link between each cause and each bad result even clearer. For example, explain how seeing new styles online leads people to buy more clothes.
task response
Develop the culture point with one more clear detail. You could explain why young people may stop wearing local clothes when world styles are seen as more modern.
task response
The Myanmar example is useful and on topic. Add a short fact or a more exact example of local dress to make the point stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: causes first, then bad effects, then a short ending. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. For example: "This easy access means that...", "Because of this...", and "Another bad effect is...".
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences have too many ideas. Split them into two shorter sentences so the reader can follow your point more easily.
coherence and cohesion
In the second body paragraph, start with a clear main idea such as: "Global fashion can weaken local culture and harm the environment." Then explain the two parts.
task response
You answer both questions: you explain why global fashion is powerful and give a clear negative opinion.
task response
The points about local culture and waste are relevant and well chosen for this topic.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has a clear job, and the ending repeats your main view well.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as "However", "Moreover", "As a result", and "In addition" help show the flow of your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • global
  • trend
  • fashion
  • style
  • fashionable
  • influencer
  • celebrity
  • brand
  • access
  • marketing
  • popular
  • worldwide
  • connect
  • showcase
  • event
  • clothing
  • culture
  • rise
  • buy
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