IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Some people think that climate change is impossible to stop, while others believe that effective action can still be taken. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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In recent years, climate change has become a subject of intense international debate. there are acute argument among researchers, governments and citizens, if there are speacific action should be taken to deal with
this
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 crisis or not. Some people believe that implementing some steps can eliminate
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 problem,
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 others dispute
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 claim.
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 essay will discuss both perspectives before introducing my own opinion .

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task response
You state both views and say that you will give your own view. However, this is only an introduction. Add one full part for each view, then clearly say what you think and why.
task response
Be more exact about the two sides. The question is not about doing nothing. One side thinks climate change cannot be fully stopped; the other thinks strong action can still cut its harm.
task response
Give clear reasons and real examples. For example, past gas already in the air may cause change for many years, but clean power, less coal, and tree planting can cut future harm.
task response
Your own view should be clear. You could say that climate change may not be fully stopped soon, but action is still needed because it can slow the change and save lives.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction has a clear basic order: topic, two views, and your plan. Keep this order in the full essay with one main idea in each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words correctly: “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “For example”, and “In my view”. Do not join too many ideas in one long sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence starts and full stops. Start with “There”, not “there”, and remove the full stop on its own line at the end.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer wording: “There is a strong argument among researchers, governments, and citizens about whether specific action should be taken.”
task response
You directly introduce climate change and show that there are two different views.
task response
You promise to discuss both sides and give your own opinion, which fits the task.
coherence and cohesion
The last sentence gives the reader a clear map of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas move from the general topic to the two views in a natural way.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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