IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

you work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter • explain why you want to work in the company's head office for six months • say how your work could be done while you are away • ask for his/her help in arranging it You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: D e a r . .

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Dear Vinod, I received an email where an organisation is offering some employees a six month traning programme in a head office. I am writing
this
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 letter to express my interest in working in a company's headquarters in the USA. I believe that working in a backend office lacks real exposure. I have been working for
this
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 company for more than 2 years now and I beleive a understand its operations. But having a real-time experience would help me fimiliar to the issues on the other end as well. So we can come up with
the
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a
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 plan to do
a
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better coordination between both sides for a smoother transition of the information. You might be thinking of how the work could be managed
while
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 I am away. But I have come up with
plan
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a plan
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 where Himanshu can lead the operations , and we will make a WhatsApp group where the whole team is going to report their productivity by the end of the day.
However
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, I will be in constant touch with you and Himanshu to ensure
an
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uninterrupted work. I would really appreciate it if you could recommend me to the higher staff for
this
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 training programme. I hope a company would arrange an accommodation and all the help needed for a VISA. With regards, Aman

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task response
Answer all three points more clearly. Give a stronger reason for going, explain the work plan in more detail, and make one clear request for your manager’s help.
task response
Keep the tone polite and work-like. Do not ask the company to arrange all visa help. Ask your manager for advice or support with the visa and stay.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links such as “First”, “Also”, “While I am away”, and “Finally” to guide the reader through your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph to one main point. The second paragraph has several ideas and can be split into shorter, clearer sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Use more formal words than “real exposure”, “backend office”, and “the other end”. Say exactly what work or team you mean.
task response
You cover the reason for the move, a plan for your work, and a request for help.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear opening, main paragraphs, and a polite closing.
coherence and cohesion
The plan to let Himanshu lead and to stay in touch shows a useful link between your time away and the team’s work.
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