IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films, and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Travelling to
distint
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different
 countries to gain
knowledge
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 about other cultures has been a topic of
depate
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debate
.Some people claim that
differnet
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different
 cultures can be learned through several ways
such
Linking Words
 as books,films and the internet .I strongly advocate the idea that we can discover and obtain
knowledge
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 about
varios
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various
 countries without travelling for long distances,mainly because it is accessible to everyone and more time and
money
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 efficient.
Body paragraph 1
I believe that
knowldege
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knowledge
 obtained from
resources
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such
Linking Words
 as books is accessible to everyone.
Moreover
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, it is much easier to
enroll
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enrol
show examples
 and engage with than travelling ,
due to
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 the fact that most
resources
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 are free and understandable by different age groups.
For example
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, films can represent a country's culture in an animated way,
that
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which
show examples
 children can engage with easily and gain
knowledge
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 with
fully
Replace the word
full
 enjoyment.
Body paragraph 2
There is no doubt that travelling for long distance waste a considerable amount of time and
money
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.
Therfore
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Therefore
,people tend to advocate
resources
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 that can be obtained anywhere and
aquire
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acquire
 them with the information needed.
Moreover
Linking Words
,a person seeking cultural
knowledge
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 should consider the amount of
money
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 that will be spent
in
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on
show examples
 accommodations,food,and activities to discover the site
,
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;
show examples
as a result
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using
Punctuation problem
, using
show examples
 virtual
resources
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 is more
money
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 efficient.
Conclusion
In conclusion,using virtual
resources
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palyed
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played
 an
effictive
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effective
 role in learning about different cultures around the world.I firmly
belive
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believe
 that the same amount of information can be gained through several
resources
Use synonyms
 as travelling.

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task response
Your view is clear: you agree that books, films, and the internet can teach us about other cultures. To make the answer stronger, explain more fully why these sources can give as much knowledge as travel. For example, say that books can give history, films can show daily life, and online talks can let people hear from local people.
task response
Your two main points are about easy access and lower cost. These are relevant, but the first body paragraph needs a fuller example. The film example is useful, but explain what a child may learn, such as food, family life, clothes, or local events.
task response
Be careful with the idea that all sources are free and easy for all age groups. This is too broad. You could say that many sources are cheap or free, and that people can choose material that is right for their age and level.
task response
The second body paragraph says travel costs time and money, but it does not show clearly why this means online learning gives the same amount of cultural knowledge. Add a link: online museum visits, local news, and videos can give wide cultural facts without the cost of a trip.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear shape: an opening, two body paragraphs, and an ending. Keep this plan, but begin each body paragraph with one direct main idea. For example: “First, books, films, and the internet are easy for most people to use.”
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas are joined in very long sentences. Use shorter sentences to make your meaning easier to follow. For example, split the sentence about films into two sentences: “Films can show a country's culture in a lively way. Children can enjoy them and learn about daily life.”
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. “Moreover” appears often, and “There is no doubt” is not needed. Try simple links such as “First,” “Also,” “For example,” “As a result,” and “Finally.”
coherence and cohesion
Make the ending match your main points. It should restate that these sources are easy to use and cost less, then clearly say that this is why you agree. Avoid saying “the same amount of information” unless your body paragraphs have shown this in detail.
task response
You answer the question directly and keep the same clear view from the opening to the ending.
task response
You use relevant ideas about access, time, and money, and you include an example about films and children.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow because it has separate paragraphs for each main point and a clear final paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
You try to use links such as “For example,” “Moreover,” “Therefore,” and “In conclusion,” which helps show how your ideas are connected.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Authentic experiences
  • Cultural immersion
  • Sensory learning
  • Cost-effective
  • Language barriers
  • Interpersonal interactions
  • Balanced approach
  • Virtual tours
  • Lived experiences
  • Credibility of sources
  • Misconceptions
  • Multicultural competency
  • Stimulate curiosity
  • Digital platforms
  • Stereotypes
  • Environmentally sustainable
  • Hands-on experience
  • Global perspective
  • Biased information
  • Cultural nuances
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