IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Write a letter to a friend about an item you borrowed last week, that accidentally got damaged. In your letter – Describe the item. – What was the damage? – What do you intend to do to rectify the problem?

4.5 / 9
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Hi
darshan
Capitalize the proper name
Darshan
show examples
, Congratulations
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 securing the 1st rank in the drawing competition. What an achievement it is!. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to apologise
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 something to you. Remember the
book
Use synonyms
 which I borrowed from you
on the
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
Linking Words
saturday
Capitalize the proper name
Saturday
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? I
accidently spilled
Correct your spelling
accidentally spilt
 water on some pages of that
book
Use synonyms
. I took the
book
Use synonyms
 instantly out of the water, but the damage had already
done
Verb problem
been done
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, I tried to put it under
sunlight
Correct article usage
the sunlight
show examples
 to dry those pages. Don't worry, the
book
Use synonyms
 is readable.
However
Linking Words
, you will find some stains on the page no. 18 and 19. I know that you have borrowed it from the library. Let me know if they charge you any fees for the damage. I will pay for it. I will return it to you by tomorrow. Thank you, Saumil

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task response
Say more about the book, such as its name or why your friend likes it. This will make the letter feel more full.
task response
Your plan is clear. You could also say that you will buy a new copy if the library asks for it.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear order: sorry, what happened, and what you will do. Add a short opening line, such as “How are you?” before the main news.
coherence and cohesion
Use a more natural ending, such as “Best wishes,” before your name. Also use full stops carefully: “What an achievement it is!” has only one end mark.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the time words clear: write “last Saturday” and “tomorrow” with care. This helps the reader follow the story.
task response
You answer all the main parts: you name the item, explain the water damage, and say how you will pay for any fee.
coherence and cohesion
The letter is easy to follow, and each paragraph has a clear job.
coherence and cohesion
The tone is warm and polite, which is right for a letter to a friend.
The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

  • Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

  • Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

  • Best regards,
  • Warm wishes,

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • borrowed item
  • a brand-new camera
  • in excellent condition
  • use it for a few days
  • accidental damage
  • slipped out of my hand
  • fell onto the floor
  • a cracked screen
  • a damaged lens
  • a broken handle
  • a deep scratch
  • feel terribly sorry
  • take full responsibility
  • get it repaired
  • a reliable repair shop
  • cover the repair costs
  • pay for the damage
  • replace it with a new one
  • make it up to you
  • hope you can forgive me
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