IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the average hours worked per day by married men and women in paid employment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

7.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
The chart below shows the average hours worked per day by married men and women in paid employment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the average
time
Use synonyms
 of
work
Use synonyms
 per day by people in paid employment.
Overall
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 spend more
hours
Use synonyms
 than
men
Use synonyms
 in total.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the average
Use synonyms
hours
Check wording
number of hours
show examples
men
Use synonyms
 spend working outside
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 three times as many as those who
work
Use synonyms
 unpaid at
home
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile,
women
Use synonyms
 in both
age
Use synonyms
 groups had a similar proportion between paid working or
work
Use synonyms
 at
home
Use synonyms
 without getting paid. As can be seen,
women
Use synonyms
 are working slightly longer than the total amount of
time
Use synonyms
 spent by
men
Use synonyms
 working in both
age
Use synonyms
 categories, 24-44 years old and 45-64 years old, at around 2
hours
Use synonyms
 and 3
hours
Use synonyms
higher
Correct word choice
longer
show examples
, respectively. In terms of the daily average working
time
Use synonyms
 of
husband
Fix the agreement mistake
husbands
show examples
, both
age
Use synonyms
 categories indicate that
men
Use synonyms
 working outside are three times higher than
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 unpaid at
home
Use synonyms
, approximately 2 to 7
hours
Use synonyms
 for
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
between
Check wording
group between
show examples
 24-44 and 2 to 7
hours
Use synonyms
 for the 45- 64
age
Use synonyms
 group.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, wives aged between 24-44 have similar working
time
Use synonyms
 between paid
work
Use synonyms
 and unpaid
work
Use synonyms
 at
home
Use synonyms
, at around 5
hours
Use synonyms
 per day,
while
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 above 45 years old recorded a slightly differences for only 1 hour.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words time, work, women, hours, men, home, age with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average
  • hours worked
  • paid employment
  • married men
  • married women
  • employment status
  • gender disparity
  • work-life balance
  • cultural factors
  • societal expectations
  • economic contribution
  • family dynamics
What to do next:
Look at other essays: