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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with prediction for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

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The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with prediction for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
The line graph illustrates the proportion of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 between four countries in
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
 continent
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was
Asian
Replace the word
Asia
. The people who live there over a 50-year
period
Use synonyms
 from 1970 to 2020.
However
Linking Words
, adding extra date on future years to predict, with units measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that Malaysia experienced a
remakable
Correct your spelling
remarkable
 rise in population,
while
Linking Words
 other cities showed some fluctuations throughout the
period
Use synonyms
. Regarding the details, Malaysia had a dramatic growth, starting at
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
 point
nearly
Change preposition
of nearly
show examples
 30% in 1970 and
climping
Correct your spelling
climbing
 sharply to reach about 70%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the population will be increased roughly to reach 80% in 2040
by
Change preposition
, according to
show examples
 predictions With regard to Thailand, it recorded
the
Correct article usage
its
show examples
 lowest point
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
2020
Punctuation problem
2020,
show examples
to reach
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
 around 30%. Meanwhile, Thailand wiil faced a higher figure to reach approximately 42 in 2040.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Indonesia was the lowest point at the beginning of
Use synonyms
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
, recording about 15
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
, it overtook most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cities in the final results.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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