IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Your local newspaper is offering an award for people who have helped the community. Write a letter to the newspaper editor. In your letter suggest someone you think should receive the award describe what the person does to help the community suggest an award that would be appropriate for this person You should You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to formally submit a nomination for your recently announced community recognition program. I would like to strongly recommend
Mrs.
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Mrs
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 Eleanor Vance, a retired educator and long-term resident of our town, for
this
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 prestigious
honor
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honour
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. Over the past five years,
Mrs.
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Mrs
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 Vance has tirelessly dedicated her evenings and weekends to running a free tutoring clinic located at the central community
center
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centre
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. She not only helps underprivileged high school students prepare for their university entrance exams but
also
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 single-handedly
organizes
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organises
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 a weekly food drive to support their families. Despite being in her late seventies, she volunteers upwards of thirty hours a week, transforming the educational prospects of countless young people in our
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
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. Given the tangible impact of her charitable work and the fact that her initiative is largely self-funded, I believe a fitting tribute would be a "Local Hero of the Year" plaque, accompanied by a small financial grant. A monetary award of, perhaps, $1,000 would be incredibly practical, as it would allow her to purchase updated textbooks and expand her food bank's inventory before the winter months approach. Thank you for taking the time to consider
this
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 nomination. I firmly believe there is no one more deserving of
this
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 public acknowledgement. Yours faithfully, Jonathan Hayes

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task response
Add one short example of how a student or family has been helped. This would make the letter feel even more real and strong.
coherence and cohesion
The letter is very clear. Keep using one main point in each paragraph, as you do here.
coherence and cohesion
You could link the award more directly to her work by saying that the money will help both the study group and the food drive.
task response
You answer all parts of the task: you name a person, explain her work, and suggest a clear award.
task response
Your reasons are detailed and show why Mrs. Vance should receive the award.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas are in a clear order: the person, her work, the award, and a polite ending.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one clear main idea, and the letter is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and closing are suitable for a formal letter.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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