Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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On the other hand
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, in my opinion, soft measures are more effective in preventing accidents because they address the causes of unsafe driving. Education campaigns can help drivers to understand the real consequences of speeding or using mobile phones
while
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driving, encouraging them to develop responsible habits rather than simply obeying rules because of fear.
In addition
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, governments can enhance road safety by investing in safer infrastructure, including better street lighting, clearly marked pedestrian crossing and well-designed roads.
For example
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, a young or inexperienced driver may avoid an accident not because they are afraid of a fine, but because they have received proper training on how
react
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to react
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in hazardous situations.
Besides
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that, safer road design can
also
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prevent collisions even when car users make unintentional mistakes. These measures are particularly valuable, given that they reduce car accidents before any offence occurs.
To conclude
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, the most successful approach is not to rely on punishment, but to combine strong law enforcement with preventive measures that motivate people to become safer and more responsible drivers.

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task response
You give a clear view: education and safe roads can stop accidents before they happen. However, the first view about strict punishment is not shown in this part, so the full discussion is not complete. Add a full paragraph on how fines, loss of a licence, and police checks may stop dangerous driving.
task response
Explain your own view a little more. Say why a mix of rules and prevention is better than either one on its own, and give one clear real-life example.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraph has a clear order: main idea, reasons, example, and result. Keep this order in every body paragraph so the whole essay is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. “On the other hand” is good only after you have fully explained the first view. “Besides that” can be changed to “Also” or “In addition” for a more natural link.
coherence and cohesion
Make the example sentence clearer: write “training on how to react in dangerous situations.” This helps the reader follow the point without stopping.
task response
Your ideas are relevant and well chosen. Driver education, safer roads, lighting, and road markings directly answer the question about road safety.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion clearly gives your final view and brings the two types of action together: law enforcement and prevention.
coherence and cohesion
The paragraph uses clear links such as “In addition”, “For example”, and “To conclude”, which guide the reader through your ideas.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • repeat offenses
  • infrastructure improvements
  • public awareness campaigns
  • reckless driving
  • traffic management technologies
  • intelligent traffic lights
  • speed cameras
  • public transportation
  • minimize
  • enhance safety
  • allocate funds
  • road signs
  • road safety
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