IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

A friend of yours is thinking about changing careers and has asked you for advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: explain why you think changing careers could be a good idea suggest a career that might suit your friend give advice on how your friend could prepare for the change and aim for about 20 minutes.

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Dear John, I hope you are doing well. I am writing to
advice
Replace the word
advise
 you about your career that you want to pursue accounting
instead
Linking Words
 of biology. Changing careers not only
expand
Correct subject-verb agreement
expands
show examples
 your knowledge but
also
Linking Words
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 you more opportunities in the competitive market. I personally
switch
Wrong verb form
switched
show examples
 my career from nursing to teaching, which helped me to get my dream job and
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 salary.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 could help you to develop more references.
As a result
Linking Words
, you could expand your reach and
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
get
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 easily. I would suggest you
to
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
pursue an accounting
because
Check wording
degree because
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 you
have
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
studied in
your
Correct determiner usage
apply
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high school.
Thus
Linking Words
, it will be easy for you to understand the complex topics
further
Linking Words
.
Also
Linking Words
, accounting becomes more demading compare to other fields, which will make your path easier.
Moreover
Linking Words
, you could start learning the basics of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
accounting through a crash course, which will give you
basic
Correct article usage
a basic
show examples
 idea of that field.
Also
Linking Words
, you could attend the accounting projects in your college and learn how the tasks
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been completed and could make more friends. Thank you so much. I hope you find your best career. Regards, Swet

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task response
Answer all parts with more clear detail. Say why accounting is a good fit for John, and give steps such as a short course, a test, and help from an accountant.
task response
Use a more personal reason for the change. For example, say that John likes working with numbers and checking small details.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear start, main part, and end. Make the links between ideas smoother by using simple words such as “also”, “because”, and “for this reason”.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main point in each paragraph. The first main paragraph can be about why a new career is good, the next about accounting, and the last about how to get ready.
coherence and cohesion
Check small grammar points so the ideas are easier to follow: use “advise”, “changes”, “more in demand”, and “tasks have been completed”.
task response
You cover all the key parts: reasons for a change, a job idea, and ways to get ready.
coherence and cohesion
Your greeting and closing are friendly and fit a letter to a friend.
coherence and cohesion
The paragraphs are in a sensible order, so the reader can follow your advice easily.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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