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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Last month, you had an overseas holiday with some friends where you stayed at their house. They have just sent you some holiday photos. Write a letter to your friend. Thank them for the holiday and photos. Explain why you did not write earlier. Invite them to come and stay.

5.5 / 9
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Dear Smith, I hope you are doing well. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to thank
you
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you,
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 guys
for
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, for
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 making my holidays wonderful, and for sending me those astonishing pictures. It was a memorable experience for me
,
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apply
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 to spend some quality time with you
lovely
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, lovely
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 people. After coming back home from that tranquil retreat, I
got lag
Verb problem
fell
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 behind my peers at my workplace. There was so much work to do
Linking Words
such
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, such
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 as preparing presentations, organising meetings, and so on.
Thus
Linking Words
, I got busy
in
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apply
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completing my pending work. That’s why
,
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apply
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 I did not get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
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 to write
you
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to you
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 before. In my opinion, we should spend our next holidays in India. I would be more than happy
,
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apply
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 if you guys would come and stay at my home. I would get a chance to show my hospitality to you. Please let me know
,
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apply
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 whenever you get some free time to visit here. I am truly grateful to have friends like you. Lots of love. Best wishes, Prabh.

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task response
You cover all parts of the task: thanks, a reason for writing late, and an invite. Make the invite more clear by giving a time, such as next summer or in the school break.
task response
Use the name of your friend in the first line, not only “Smith”. For example: “Dear Sam,” This feels more warm and natural.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear order and each main part has its own paragraph. Use a few more simple links, such as “First”, “Also”, and “I am sorry”, to make the ideas flow well.
coherence and cohesion
Some lines can be more natural and clear. Write “I fell behind at work” instead of “I got lag behind my peers”. Write “I did not get a chance to write to you earlier” instead of “write you before”.
task response
You give a full and kind thank-you for both the holiday and the photos.
task response
Your reason for the late reply is clear: you had a lot of work when you got home.
coherence and cohesion
The letter is easy to follow, with a start, a reason, an invite, and a warm ending.
coherence and cohesion
The friendly closing, “Lots of love” and “Best wishes”, suits a letter to a friend.
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