IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Modern form of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their frieds. This has had a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

2.0 / 9
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Individuals these days use emails and messaging apps quite frequently teenagers do it a lot they use technology alot and waste time scrolling and texting their friends on the phone and they don't go out as much or talk to people in real life because they get nervous and never know what to say and prefer messaging and calling
instead
Linking Words
 of couraging themselves to make new friends and socialize and enjoy peoples presence I think you should go outside
and
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 breathe and socialize and live your life to the fullest because there is so much
to
Correct word choice
more to
show examples
 life than
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
 home all day

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task response
State your answer clearly at the start. Say if you agree fully, partly agree, or disagree. Then give two clear reasons for your view.
task response
Answer all parts of the question. Explain how email and messages may mean less time meeting friends, and explain why this can hurt social life.
task response
Develop each main idea. For example, say that people may stay at home to text, so they have fewer real talks, shared trips, and chances to meet new people.
task response
Use one or two real examples. You could write about a teen who texts friends after school but stops going to sports, parks, or group events.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: an opening with your view, one main idea, a second main idea, and a short ending.
coherence and cohesion
Make sentences shorter. The first sentence has many ideas joined together, so it is hard to read. Put each main idea in its own sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words to show the order of ideas: First, Also, For example, However, and In the end.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same focus in each part. The first part talks about teens, while the second gives advice. Link both parts back to the effect on social life.
task response
You give a clear main view that people should spend more time outside and with other people.
task response
You include useful ideas about fear of real talks and the choice to text instead of meeting.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing stays on the main topic of phone use, messaging, and meeting people in real life.
coherence and cohesion
The second part has a clear message: social time outside the home is important.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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