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Writing Samples
Band 5

The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these statements.

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Introduction
There is an ongoing debate about whether the
internet
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 may be helping
people
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 to nurture
relationships
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 and stay connected
no
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, no
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 matter the distance.
While
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 some
people
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 agree, others believe that using modern
thecnologies
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technologies
 can lead to isolation and discourage socialisation. I personally believe that the
internet
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per
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, per
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se
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se,
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 is not an issue, but actually a great resource to maintain long-distance
relationships
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.
Conversely
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, I think that the extreme use of the
internet
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 may be detrimental
for
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to
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people
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's social skills, and especially for children and young adults.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, it is unquestionable that the
internet
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 connection allows us to have
relationships
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 which were once unthinkable. Thanks to modern tools,
such
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 as social media, video calls and online texting,
people
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 are today able to stay in touch with long-distance friends and family members, nurturing
relationships
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 that used to be more sporadic and superficial.
Moreover
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, new communication tools allow the exchange of pictures and videos, which was impossible in the past.
This
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 helps
people
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 feel emotionally connected even when far away.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, it is well known that screen time can be addictive, and negatively impact
people
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's behaviours and habits. If
people
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 become addicted to social media and online platforms,
such
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 as Instagram and YouTube, they may lose any desire for real socialisation, turning back to online platforms,
pattern
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a pattern
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 that can easily become a vicious cycle. In fact, many studies show that isolation and depression are often linked to "doom scrolling" and
eccessive
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excessive
 screen time.
Moreover
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, children and young adults are even more at risk, since they have yet to develop essential skills
such
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 as socialising and interacting with peers in person.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
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 I believe that the
internet
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 itself is a great invention, which facilitates communication and connectivity,
It
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it
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 is undeniable that there are significant drawbacks,
such
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 as isolation and lack of essential social skills in
youger
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younger
people
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.

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task response
State your view more directly in the first part: the internet is useful, but too much use can cause harm. This will make your answer to the question clearer.
task response
Add one clear real-life example for each main idea. For example, video calls can help a parent speak to a child who lives in another country. Too much time on a phone can stop a teen from meeting friends after school.
task response
Explain the link between online use and less face-to-face time in a little more detail. Do not only say it can happen; show how it happens.
coherence and cohesion
Your four-part plan works well: opening, one side, other side, and ending. Keep this clear plan.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. In the second main part, change “turning back to online platforms, pattern” to a full sentence, such as “They may then return to online platforms. This can become a bad cycle.”
coherence and cohesion
Make the last part match your main view more closely. Say that the main problem is extreme use, not the internet itself.
coherence and cohesion
Check small word errors because they can slow the reader: “technologies”, “excessive”, “younger”, and “it”, not “It”, after a comma.
task response
You answer both parts of the question and give a clear balanced view.
task response
Your points about long-distance family and friends, screen time, and young people are on topic and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Each main part has one main idea, and the ideas move in a clear order.
coherence and cohesion
You use useful signposts such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “In conclusion” to guide the reader.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • maintain close relationships
  • long-distance communication
  • instant messaging
  • video calls
  • social media platforms
  • stay in touch
  • face-to-face interaction
  • reduce social contact
  • excessive screen time
  • scroll through social media
  • real-life relationships
  • a sense of isolation
  • body language
  • emotional connection
  • online communities
  • replace rather than support
  • use technology responsibly
  • a balanced approach
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