IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to get drivers tested each year. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

6.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
In modern society, life has changed a great deal, especially the road.
This
Linking Words
 includes how the way is improved. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the safety
test
Use synonyms
 is common.
However
Linking Words
, others believe that the driver
test
Use synonyms
 is difficult.
Thus
Linking Words
, both views have significant points.
This
Linking Words
 assay will provide key information to explore the topic.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, in terms of the advantages,
according to
Linking Words
 the given information, there are many significant advantages.
First,
Linking Words
according to
Linking Words
 the Kuwait Future Report, 90% of
people
Use synonyms
 prefer the driver
test
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
 many positive reasons.
Second,
Linking Words
the organisation is one of the main reasons. The green organisation is the prime example.
In addition
Linking Words
, it will make the street easy.
For example
Linking Words
, the right way.
As a result
Linking Words
, the safety becomes higher.
Although
Linking Words
 there are many positive impacts,
people
Use synonyms
 do not take the
test
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in terms of the disadvantages,
according to
Linking Words
 the given data, there are many dramatic disadvantages.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the Kuwait Street Data, 50% of
people
Use synonyms
 do not prefer the drive
test
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
 major negative reasons. Media is a major negative impact. In another word, the device makes the way not clear.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will die
Conclusion
In conclusion, in terms of the advantages and disadvantages,
according to
Linking Words
 the given data, there are many significant benefits.
However
Linking Words
, there are many negative points.
Thus
Linking Words
, both views have significant marks.
Hence
Linking Words
, the government recommends
people
Use synonyms
 follow the right tips for positive results and best life.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Give a clear answer in the first part. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree that yearly tests are the best way to make roads safer.
task response
Talk about the main question, not only good and bad points. Explain why yearly tests may help, and why other steps, such as road rules, police work, road design, and driver learning, may also be needed.
task response
Build each main idea with a reason and a clear example. The Kuwait reports and numbers are not explained, so they do not strongly support your ideas. Use simple, real examples instead.
task response
Do not say “according to the given data”, because this task gives no chart or data. Also, avoid claims such as “people will die” unless you explain the link clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction with your view; one body part on yearly tests; one body part on other ways to improve safety; conclusion with your final view.
coherence and cohesion
Make the first line of each body part state one clear idea. Then add two or three lines that explain it. Some parts now repeat “there are many advantages” or “many disadvantages” without giving clear details.
coherence and cohesion
Use links only when they show the real meaning. For example: “Yearly tests can find unsafe drivers. For this reason, they may cut the number of crashes.”
coherence and cohesion
Keep key words the same and clear. Use “yearly driving test”, “road safety”, and “drivers”. Phrases such as “the way”, “the street easy”, and “significant marks” are hard to understand.
task response
You have tried to discuss more than one side of the issue, and you include a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two main body parts, and a conclusion. This gives it a basic overall shape.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: