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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph illustrates the
fluctations
Check wording
fluctuation
show examples
 in the preference
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 fast food
by
Change preposition
among
show examples
 Australian young children from
Use synonyms
year
Check wording
apply
show examples
1975 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the preference
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 hamburgers and pizza had increased significantly over the period of time.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the
amount
Use synonyms
 of fish and chips consumed had
fluctuate
Wrong verb form
fluctuated
show examples
 and declined gradually.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of hamburgers was approximately 0 times in 1975 and
then
Linking Words
 increased significantly to 100 in
Use synonyms
year
Check wording
apply
show examples
1995 and remained constant in
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
year
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was
also
Linking Words
 the maximum
fast
Check wording
amount of fast
show examples
 food consumed by Australian teenagers. The
amount
Use synonyms
 of pizza consumed increased
similarly
Linking Words
 as hamburger.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the volume of fish and chips had decreased from
being
Verb problem
apply
show examples
100 times in
years
Check wording
apply
show examples
1975 to approximately 85. And,
then
Linking Words
 there is
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
 increment in the
amount
Use synonyms
 upto
year
Use synonyms
 1985
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
further
Linking Words
 declined rapidly to approximately 40 times in
Use synonyms
year
Correct article usage
the year
show examples
 2000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words year, amount with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • line graph
  • trends
  • consumption
  • type of fast food
  • popularity
  • peaked
  • hit a low
  • timeline
  • notable
  • switch
  • cultural trends
  • economic factors
  • marketing efforts
  • increase
  • decrease
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