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Band 5.5

The graph below shows the sales of children’s books, adult fiction and educational books between 2002 and 2006 in one country.

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The graph below shows the sales of children’s books, adult fiction and educational books between 2002 and 2006 in one country.
The
lince
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line
 graph illustrates
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trend
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the trend
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 of
sales
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 of three different
typs
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types
 of
books
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,
children
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’s
books
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,
adult
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fiction
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 and educational
books
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, between the years 2002 and 2006. Unit measured in
million
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 dollars.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
sales
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 of
children
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's
books
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 the highest
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
end
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 of the graph
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the
adult
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fiction
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 was the lowest. First
period
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 from 2002 to 2004, at the beginning of the
period
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adult
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fiction
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 had more
sales
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 than the other two
type
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types
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 of
books
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 (
children
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's and educational , 32 and 24
respectivelly
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respectively
) ( 45
million
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 dollars),
Linking Words
then
Capitalize the word
Then
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 the
trend
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 started to decrease
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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children
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's and educational
books
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 started increasing.
At the
Linking Words
end
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 of
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Correct article usage
the period
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period
Add a comma
period,
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 the
trend
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 of
sale
Check wording
sales
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 of
children
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's
books
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 was 45
million
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 dollars
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is the highest
sale
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sales
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 in that year. Second
period
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 from 2004 to 2006, the
trend
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 of
children
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's
books
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 was increasing until the
end
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 of
graph
Correct article usage
the graph
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
sales
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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56
million
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.
Whereas
Linking Words
adult
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fiction
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books
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, the
trend
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 went down
at the
Linking Words
end
Use synonyms
 of
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period
Correct article usage
the period
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 and the
sales
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 30.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
trend
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 of
children
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's
books
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 was decreasing at the
begin
Replace the word
beginning
 of the
period
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but
Punctuation problem
, but
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at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2005 it
start
Wrong verb form
started
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increasing
Punctuation problem
increasing,
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 were the sale 32.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words trend, sales, books, adult, fiction, million, children, end, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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