IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old fashioned values such as honour, kindness, and trust no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some argue that the value of a person is judged by his social status and
mterial
Correct your spelling
material
 possessions.
However
Linking Words
, old values, including kindness, respect, and trust, are no longer
consider
Wrong verb form
considered
show examples
. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint and argue that
influences
Correct article usage
the influences
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 of social media and
powers
Correct article usage
the powers
show examples
hold
Wrong verb form
held
show examples
 by rich people are the main reasons behind
this
Linking Words
. The main reason why I am supporting
this
Linking Words
 view is that generally social media
fcuses
Correct your spelling
focuses
 more on material possessions.
THe
Capitalize the word
The
show examples
 posts or stories shared by social media influencers show their
fianancail
Correct your spelling
financial
 status, including their houses, gold, properties, and
different countries visits
Correct word order
visits to different countries
show examples
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the youth
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 their main follower, and most of the
times
Check wording
time
show examples
 they see materialistic things and do not get information about
old fashioned
Correct your spelling
old-fashioned
 values,
such
Linking Words
 as honour and kindness.
For instance
Linking Words
, often
Youtubers
Capitalize the proper name
YouTubers
show examples
 and
Tiktokers
Capitalize the proper name
TikTokers
show examples
 only share their expensive things, and
this
Linking Words
 changes the
viewers
Check wording
viewers'
show examples
 point of view about the world.

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task response
Give a full answer to the question. You say you agree, but the essay has only one main body part and it ends before a final view. Add a second main reason and a short ending that clearly repeats your view.
task response
Explain your ideas more. Show how social media makes people judge others by money, and explain why this can make kindness, honour, and trust seem less important.
task response
Your example about YouTubers and TikTokers is on the topic. Make it more clear and real: say what they show, how young people react, and how this affects the way they judge people.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: introduction, first main idea, second main idea, and conclusion. This will make the whole essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body part with one clear main sentence. Then add an explanation and an example. Do not move to a new idea before the first idea is fully explained.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words in the right way, such as “First”, “Also”, “For example”, “As a result”, and “In conclusion”. This will help the reader see how your ideas connect.
coherence and cohesion
Check small writing errors that make the text harder to read, such as “mterial”, “fcuses”, “fianancail”, “THe”, and “are no longer consider.” Use full sentences and check capital letters.
task response
Your opinion is clear from the start: you fully agree with the view.
task response
You give a relevant reason about social media and material things.
task response
The example of online videos and posts is closely linked to your main idea.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction tells the reader what your main reasons will be.
coherence and cohesion
You use cause-and-effect language, such as “Consequently”, to show a link between ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social status
  • Material possessions
  • Old-fashioned values
  • Honour
  • Kindness
  • Trust
  • Judged
  • Importance
  • Traditional
  • Reflection
  • Achievements
  • Hard work
  • Disregarded
  • Well-balanced
  • Meaningful
  • Cultural norms
  • Societal norms
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