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Band 2.5

The world has been an enormous increase in flight for leisure, business and commercial purposes around the world over recent years. What do you think are the main advantages and disadvantages of such flights?. Do you think flights should be taxed more?

2.5 / 9
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Introduction
the
Capitalize the word
The
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 world
now is developed
Correct word order
is now developing
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 faster
due to
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 the tchnology and smart people
, as
Punctuation problem
. As
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 we see now , flight
become
Verb problem
has become
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 the
danemic
Correct your spelling
dominant mode
 of
torusim
Correct your spelling
transportation
, ecnomaic and business
over
Change preposition
around
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 the world
,
Punctuation problem
.
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 In
this
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 essay, I will expound on the advantages and disadvantages of using
this
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 mode of transportation before providing my opinion regarding if flights should be taxed or not.
Body paragraph 1
Use synonyms
one
Use the right word
On
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 the
one
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 hand ,
Use synonyms
One
Fix capitalization
one
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 major advantage of air travel is that it saves
time
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.
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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we
Capitalize the proper name
We
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 see that the
transoprtion
Correct your spelling
transportation
 is
fast
Correct article usage
a fast
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 way and
save
Correct subject-verb agreement
saves
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time
Use synonyms
, in
Punctuation problem
. In
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 the past
if
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, if
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 any
one
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 want to go to other countriy , its takes long
time
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from
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, for
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 example
from
Punctuation problem
, from
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 my city dammam to
jueddia
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Jeddah
,
this
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 appromxialy 3 days
but
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, but
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know
Use the right word
now
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 only fwe houres ,
also
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 less and
save
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saves
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time
Use synonyms
,
Correct word order
. Also,
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also
Linking Words
 with business and commercial
purpses
Correct your spelling
purposes
, the
transportion
Correct your spelling
transportation
 from any producet become easy , if a want to pay labtop or cream from another
counitry
Correct your spelling
country
Body paragraph 2
Use synonyms
one
Use the right word
On
show examples
 the other hand
the
Punctuation problem
, the
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rsik
Correct your spelling
risk
 of humen live will be
consider
Wrong verb form
considered
show examples
, we see
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of air plan cruis
Conclusion
In my opinion, flights should be taxed slightly more because air travel causes environmental pollution.
However
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, the tax should not be too high because
this
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 could make travel unaffordable for many people.

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task response
Answer all parts in full. Write about the good points of flights, the bad points, and your view on more tax. Your view is clear, but the bad side is very short.
task response
Explain each main idea. For example, say how flights help work, trade, and people who live far from family. Then explain how flights harm the air and make noise near homes.
task response
Use clear examples that fit your point. The trip from Dammam to Jeddah is a good idea, but give the right time and explain why this change is important.
task response
Finish the idea about business and goods. Say that planes can move small, high-cost goods fast, but they may cost more than other ways of travel.
task response
Make your tax view more exact. You could say that tax money should be used to help clean travel, while low-cost flights for people with less money should still be possible.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: start, good points, bad points and tax view, then end. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body part with one clear main idea. For example: 'One good point is that air travel saves time.' Then add an explanation and one example.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words such as 'For example', 'Also', 'However', 'As a result', and 'In my view'. Do not repeat 'we see' many times.
coherence and cohesion
Check incomplete lines. The last line in the first body part stops before the idea is finished. Every part needs a full ending.
coherence and cohesion
Use the right link words: write 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'. This helps show the change from good points to bad points.
task response
You give a clear view that flights should have a small extra tax, not a very high one.
task response
You choose a useful main good point: flights save a great deal of time.
coherence and cohesion
Your start tells the reader that you will discuss both sides and give your own view.
coherence and cohesion
You try to separate the good side and the bad side into different parts.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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