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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn at all times. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

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Introduction
Some corporations make sure that their
employees
Use synonyms
 must wear uniforms at all times during work.
This
Linking Words
 trend incures positive impression on customers, and
also
Linking Words
 it is a
cost
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-effective
initive
Correct your spelling
initiative
 for
workers
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.
In contrast
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, the primary drawbacks include limited choices for
workers
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 often leads much expenses for
compamies
Correct your spelling
companies
.
Body paragraph 1
Through
uniforms
Add a comma
uniforms,
show examples
employees
Use synonyms
 of a
company
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 look more organised and trustworthy. When
workers
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 in a
company
Use synonyms
 wear
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uniform
Correct article usage
a uniform
show examples
, it shows equality and
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 organised workplace;
consequently
Linking Words
,
this
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 increases
trust
Correct article usage
the trust
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 level in buyers and
possibility
Correct article usage
the possibility
show examples
 of sales as well.
Addtionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
,
workers
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 can decrease their expenses. If
employees
Use synonyms
 wear
Use synonyms
uniform
Correct article usage
a uniform
show examples
, they do not need to worry about
their cloths on daily bases what to wear and
Correct word order
what to wear on a daily basis, or
show examples
 which
color
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colour
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.
This
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 saves
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 a lot of time and money.
For example
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, in Japan, some companies provide
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uniform
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uniforms
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 to their
employees
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at the
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 first week of their job and charge them for that;
however
Linking Words
, after some
months
Punctuation problem
months,
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 they pay back to their
employees
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 as
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uniform
Correct article usage
a uniform
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 allowance.
Conclusion
The main disadvantage is that
this
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 trend makes
employees
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 less independent. To elaborate, some people like to wear
cloths
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clothes
show examples
 of different styles, different
colors
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colours
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, and sizes, but
due to
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the uniform
show examples
uniform
Punctuation problem
uniform,
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 they have no choice
to
Correct word choice
but to
show examples
 wear anything else.
Moreover
Linking Words
, often
uniform
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 production leads additonal
cost
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 for companies. If a
company
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 designs uniforms for all
employees
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,
this
Linking Words
 may
cost
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 a lot for
Use synonyms
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
 because it will include stitching
cost
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,
cost
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 to buy
cloths
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clothes
show examples
, thread, and logo
cost
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.
This
Linking Words
 will ultimately increase operational
Use synonyms
cost
Check wording
costs
show examples
 for companies.

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task response
You discuss both the good and bad sides, and your main ideas are clear. Add a short final part that sums up your view. This will make the whole answer feel complete.
task response
Explain each point a little more. For example, say why a uniform can make buyers trust a company, and how this may help sales.
task response
The Japan example is useful, but make it more clear. Say if the company gives the uniform for free, or if workers first pay and later get the money back.
coherence and cohesion
Your answer has a clear order: good points first and bad points next. Keep this plan, but begin each main part with one clear topic sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links to show the relation between ideas. For example: "As a result", "For this reason", "However", and "Also". Do not use too many links in one long sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because they have many ideas. Split them into two short sentences. For example, write one sentence about clothes and another about time and money.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between the first and second part of each paragraph more direct. After saying uniforms look organised, explain at once how this affects customers.
task response
You answer the full question by giving both advantages and disadvantages.
task response
You use clear, relevant ideas, such as customer trust, less spending by workers, less choice, and higher company costs.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are easy to see, and each one has a main purpose.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as "For example", "Additionally", and "Moreover" help the reader follow your ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • uniforms
  • staff
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • promotes
  • belonging
  • team spirit
  • professional
  • cohesive
  • image
  • security
  • identification
  • reduces
  • expenses
  • employees
  • decide
  • wear
  • fosters
  • equality
  • minimizes
  • differences
  • individuality
  • self-expression
  • uncomfortable
  • restrictive
  • body types
  • sizes
  • maintenance
  • cleanliness
  • control
  • restriction
  • personal style
  • fashion preferences
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