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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, many people change their jobs quite regularly. Rather than working for the same company their entire careers. Why do you think this is happening? How can companies keep their workers?

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Introduction
We
see
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have seen
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 the phenomenon of
people
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 leaving their jobs more frequently in the past few years.
Also
Linking Words
, we see companies finding it difficult to retain their employees for a long period of time.
While
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people
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 in our parents and grandparents generations would
work
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 for a singular company for years, or even decades.
Nowadays
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Nowadays,
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 we see individuals changing their workplace every few years. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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 I will explain
this
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 problem, providing ways to retain employees for a greater period of time.
This
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 act can be traced back to a lot of reasons responsible for it accruing.
Body paragraph 1
Problems like these face companies all the time. The main reason for it is the comfort, contentment and enjoyment.
Oftentimes
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Oftentimes,
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people
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 get unconsciously pressured into leaving their
work
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,
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apply
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 because of the lack of ease
inside
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in
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 the workplace.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
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 can be incredibly draining for those working long hours, making their job a fundamental and consequential part of their day.
Conclusion
The solution to
this
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 is by making the
workers
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workers'
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 tasks appreciated and credited to
ones
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those
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 responsible for them. Making them have something to attain and
work
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 towards.
Also
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making
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, making
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 the workplaces more enjoyable.
This
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 is a huge factor to make the
people
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 more comfortable and devoted to their
work
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. We can see
this
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 in
multimillion dollar
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multimillion-dollar
 companies, like
apple
Capitalize the proper name
Apple
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 and
google
Capitalize the proper name
Google
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. They provide lounge areas for
people
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 to be comfortable and relieve some of the stress they may face working at big firms. The anxiety factor plays a crucial role in the
workers
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workers'
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 sustainability and comfort, which can reflect positively on their
work
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 and achievement.
To conclude
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, many
people
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 see their
work
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 as a part of their lives. Making them in deep need of a sense of comfort.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Give clear reasons why people leave, such as more pay, better work hours, new skills, or bad managers. Then give clear ways companies can keep staff, such as fair pay, chances to move up, and a good work place.
task response
Make each main idea clear and explain it. For example, do not only say workers need comfort. Show how stress, long hours, and poor support can make people look for a new job.
task response
Use examples that directly support your ideas. The Apple and Google example is useful, but explain that lounge areas alone may not keep workers if pay, work hours, or growth are poor.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simpler four-part plan: introduction, reasons people change jobs, ways companies can keep workers, and conclusion. This will make your answer easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body part with one clear main idea. Then add an explanation and an example. Avoid moving from one idea to another without a clear link.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a natural way, such as "One reason is", "Another reason is", "To keep staff", and "For example". Also leave a space after full stops.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last paragraph sum up both parts of the question. At present, it mainly repeats the idea of comfort and does not clearly restate the reasons and solutions.
task response
You address both parts of the question: why people change jobs and what companies can do to keep them.
task response
You give a real-world example of large companies that try to make work less stressful.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body parts, and a short ending, so the reader can see the main shape of your answer.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful links between ideas, such as "The main reason" and "To conclude".
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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