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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
In recent years, working
time
Use synonyms
 has become a considerable issue around the world. Some
people
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 believe that longer weekends lead to an increase in productivity,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that more benefit will be gained with shorter working times. I firmly believe that shorter working hours offer more advantages,
such
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 as reducing
employees
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’
stress
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 levels and giving
a chance for them
Correct word order
them a chance
show examples
 to develop new
skills
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.
Body paragraph 1
One major reason is that less working
time
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 will prevent
people
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 from
burnout
Replace the word
burning out
. They will be able to use the holiday given by their office to reduce their
stress
Use synonyms
 levels by doing several activities,
such
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 as going on vacation,
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 a rest at home, or spending
time
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 with
people
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 they love. A longer weekend given by the employer,
for instance
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, can be used by the
employees
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 to hang out with their friends to share their feelings with each other, as part of a social activity that can reduce
stress
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 levels.
As a result
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,
employees
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 will be able to work more productively and pave the way to benefit the company they work
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
Another compelling reason is that
employees
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 spend most of their
time
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 working, unable to find a particular
time
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 dedicated to
skills
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 development. A longer weekend will provide
employees
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 with more
time
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 to develop their
skills
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 by joining various social
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
, online or offline courses, that will improve their skill beside their daily
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 at their office. If
people
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 have more weekends,
for instance
Linking Words
, they can spend their weekend attending an art class to
gain
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 new abilities.
As a result
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, more
people
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 will
gain
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 more
skills
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 from their extracurricular activities, improving their abilities, and will bring about many advantages to their office.
Conclusion
To
summarize
Change the spelling
summarise
show examples
, through longer free
time
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 outside of work,
people
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 will
gain
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 several benefits
such
Linking Words
 as reducing their
stress
Use synonyms
 level and help them to
gain
Use synonyms
 new abilities that will help their daily life, which is not only beneficial for the employee, but
also
Linking Words
 for the employer as well.

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task response
Your view is clear: you agree that the work week should be shorter. Keep this same clear view in every part of the essay.
task response
Explain more clearly how a shorter work week helps the employer. For example, say that workers may make fewer mistakes, take fewer sick days, and stay in the job for longer.
task response
Your examples fit the topic, but make them more real and exact. Instead of only saying people can take an art class, show how a new skill can help their work.
task response
Avoid ideas that are too broad, such as 'many advantages to their office.' State what the advantage is and why it happens.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: opening, two main parts, and an ending. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Make the first line match your main view more closely. You say some people think longer weekends raise work output, but then say others support shorter work time. These ideas are almost the same.
coherence and cohesion
Use fewer repeated words such as 'more,' 'skills,' 'weekend,' and 'stress levels.' Try simple changes like 'new abilities,' 'free days,' or 'pressure.'
coherence and cohesion
Some long sentences have too many ideas. Split them into two shorter sentences, especially in the second main part. This will make your meaning more direct.
coherence and cohesion
Check word form and grammar in key links: write 'taking a rest,' 'their skills,' 'besides their daily work,' and 'helps them gain new abilities.'
task response
You answer the full question and give two clear reasons for your view: less stress and more time to learn.
task response
The points are linked to both workers and employers, which gives your answer a wider view.
coherence and cohesion
Each main part starts with a clear main idea and then gives an example and a result.
coherence and cohesion
The ending returns to the two main ideas and clearly closes the essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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